The 'New' Kids On The Block Strip Down And 'Stache Up
Even if you weren't alive in the late 80s and early 90s, you still totally had a crush on the New Kids on the Block.
Yeah, Danny Wood, Donnie Wahlberg, Joey McIntyre, Jonathan and Jordan Knight were a bunch of Jewish and WASPy guys trying to pass themselves off as urban. But c'mon... "Step By Step"? "Hangin' Tough"??! And what about "The Right Stuff"?!!! Those were all great songs for grappling with gay, preteen masculinity.
And when Jonathan came out, we finally understood why their music videos and album covers made us feel all tingly—we were the gay kid on the block, surrounded by a bunch of handsome straight guys who looked much tougher and cooler than all the other white bread suburbanites.
Anyway, now that the 'kids' are all grown up, Donnie decided to tweet a pictures of the band in what appears to be a well-lit bathhouse. He said that he and his bros plan on shaving their group moustaches after “three months [of] countless insults [and] thousands of requests to shave" 'em.
But better than the camaraderie of growing rakish porn 'staches is the fact that they're all shirtless and giving us their best "come hither" looks, especially pointy-headed Jordan who would probably look much sexier if his band member's big dumb hands weren't in the way of his furry chest.
Oh well. And why is Jonathan wearing a shirt? Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't strip down with your guy pals. In fact, if anything, it means the exact opposite.
So if they haven't all shaved their staches yet, perhaps Jonathan will consider dropping the shirt, so they can all pout their lips again and make us their teenage fans all over again.