Christopher Walken Turns 'Honey Boo Boo' Into High Art

By: Daniel Villarreal

Just when you thought that The "Learning" Channel's Here Comes Honey Boo Boo had reached the pennacle of gay camp, actor Christopher Walken comes along and turns the show's redneck drivel into pure gold through mere recitation alone.

Oh yes. The show's titular child beauty queen had already endeared herself into our dysfunctional hearts by aligning herself with the honey badger, becoming the subject of a butch rap, planning a duet with RuPaul and saying "Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ a little gay."

But now that occasional psychopath Walken has revealed Honey Boo Boo's dialogue as the colloquial cream we always knew it was, we're nearly ready to place Honey Boo Boo in the among her awaiting pedestal in the gay camp pantheon.

Honey Boo Boo child. Do you hear that sound?

No, it's not farts.

It's destiny calling. Ascend to your rightful throne, you backwoods beauty, you.