Gossip: We'd Love if Jessica Simpson Had a Gay Dad

By: Daniel Villarreal

Poor Jessica Simpson's dad. As if divorcing Tina, his wife of 34 years, wasn't hard enough. He has to do it while fending off rumors that he's sugar daddy to some Californian boy toy.

A month after news of their split hit the web, The National Enquirer claimed that Joe had in fact divorced Tina because... wait for it... he's a closet 'mo.

Here's the juicy gossip from a so-called "insider":

'Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet,' an insider divulged. 'He told them that he’d tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn’t go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men.'

“Joe said it wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to him.”

Uh-huh. Sure.

Then there's "a source close to the Simpson family" who said that Joe may have had a boyfriend in his car when he was caught drunk driving in Sherman Oaks, California on August 4.

Sure. And he also may have had Michael Jackson's secret
lovechild in his car too, right along with the real Mona Lisa and a map leading to the preserved alien corpse hidden in Area 51.

A rep with the Simpson family released the following statement squashing the gay rumor:

"It is an amicable split and there is no third party involved. Any other related allegations are completely false. The family appreciates your respect for their privacy at this time."

So Joe may or may not be gay (just like I may or may not be straight). But if he is gay, that'd be awesome.

For one, the man was a former youth pastor and psychologist which makes the idea of his having a sinful, guilt-wracked, gay affair the stuff of trashy FOX dramas.

Second, if you think Jessica's fan base is big now, you can't imagine how big it would be her DILFy father came out. He'd basically become a lesser figure in the gay pop pantheon.

And lastly, as we just stated, Joe is kinda DILFY, if you like the whole older blonde cowboy look. If he is newly out and into young guys, that'd give all us daddy-lovers someone new to drool over.

We used to drool over the silver fox Anderson Cooper, but since he's fallen somewhat out of the spotlight, we're hungry for some fresh meat!