5 Quotes That Prove Calvin Klein's Ex Is Cray Cray
This last week, former gay porn performer and Calvin Klein's ex-boyfriend confirmed that he is at least five kinds of crazy in an interview he gave to the transphobic The New York Post.
We've excerpted the five craziest parts to show you just how cray cray Mr. Gruber actually is.
1) I TURNED CALVIN KLEIN GAY… AND I CAN TURN OTHER STRAIGHT GUYS GAY TOO
Klein, who is twice married with children, was never seen out in public with a guy until he started dating Gruber. But that doesn't mean that Klein was 100 percent straight before then… right?
According to Gruber, his undeniable allure made Klein go gay. And it makes other guys go gay too:
“I was the first man [Calvin] fell in love with. I don’t know why, but there’s, like, something about me that attracts everyone. I have a nickname called Romeo. I get every girl, and even guys. Something about me draws them all in.”
Watch out… your straight best friend may be next!
2) I'M ACTUALLY STRAIGHT… DESPITE ALL THE GAY SEX I KEEP HAVING
Long before being known as Klein's boy toy, the now 21-year-old Gruber reformed in numerous gay porn films as Zeke with Sean Cody or Aaron Skyline with Next Door Male.
But despite this and his two-and-a-half year relationship with a fashion designer, Gruber claims he is straight… not even bisexual, mind you, but straight.
We're not about labels (unless they fit), but his claim seems all the more absurd when Gruber mentions later in the article that he currently lives in West Hollywood in an open bisexual relationship with "48-year-old John Luciano, the grand-nephew of notorious mobster Lucky Luciano."
So now he's dating the mafia's gay offspring… but is still totes straight. Oh yeah, gurl. Totally. In fact, we're straight too.
But what's even better is how Gruber got out of the military; another tale which involves humping dudes on camera.
3) BISEXUAL PORN HELPED ME LEAVE THE MILITARY
From The New York Post:
"While Gruber won't elaborate on how he met Klein… he says they were introduced by friends when he was 20 and in the army. At the time, the military still enforced its 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell"' policy, and he wanted out, so he says he claimed to be gay."
"As proof, he says he handed over a bisexual porn video he filmed while in high school in Santa Rosa, Calif."
"'I went to see my first sergeant, and I gave him the [bisexual] video and he was like, 'I don't want to see it.' They gave me a choice if I wanted to stay in or if I wanted to get out, but since I was involved with Calvin, I wanted to get out.'
4) KLEIN IS JUST AS CRAZY AS I AM… CRAZIER, ACTUALLY
After Klein's housekeeper told the fashion designer that his boy toy had invited an overnight male guest during Klein's absence, Klein got cray cray and made Gruber take a lie detector test in the basement of a Holiday Inn.
Yes, the basement of a Holiday Inn (could Klein not afford a broom closet at the Waldorf Astoria?):
The Post elaborates:
"According to Gruber, another man was waiting there with a lie detector. He said he was an ex-detective, and presented a business card bearing the name 'Dr. Love.' Gruber, indignant that Klein was accusing him of cheating, says he agreed to be hooked up to the machine and interrogated for about two hours.
"'He made me take a lie-detector test,' Gruber says in disbelief. 'I passed it. And then, you know, things were much better. But I mean, what kind of partner would make you take a lie detector test? I was like, 'Did you ever cheat on me, Calvin?' I never cheated on him.'"
Why would Gruber cheat on Klein with another dude? After all, he's straight.
5) I WILL PUNCH A FRIEND IN THE FACE IF HE HITS ON ME
Despite the fact that the completely heterosexual gay porn star has slept with quite a few guys on camera, know this — he will not tolerate unwanted advances from presumptuous gentlemen. In fact, any attempt to come onto him (especially when he's in a cocaine induced K-hole) will result in a swift, unmitigated thrashing with his manly gauntlet upon your countenance.
Take it away, Post:
"After (the lie detector test), the relationship was strained, although the couple continued to see each other off and on. Gruber started drinking heavily and using cocaine until, finally, on the night of April 24, he reached a breaking point."
"A friend of Gruber's came to his West Village penthouse; Gruber says the friend was drunk and started hitting on him-so he exploded. 'I punched him, and he dropped and hit the ground. When someone sexually harasses me, that just doesn't click,' he says. 'I'm just a bomb ready to [go off].'"
Sexual harassment isn't kosher, so it makes sense that Gruber might hit a guy in the face if he came on way too strong. But this guy was Gruber's friend!
Cocaine is a strong drug, my friends.
We shall depart here, dear readers, with our eyes towards Gruber's eventual memoir (the entire reason he gave this interview in the first place), in which he spills even more crazy beans about his not-gay relationship with Klein and other thought nuggets that will likely raise our eyebrows to unbelievable heights.
But let us leave you with this one final cherry from Gruber's interview in which he attests just how badass he is:
"'I am this extreme badass at heart,' Gruber says, suddenly leaning forward, his eyes widening with excitement. 'I used to have a car that went 205 miles per hour. Now I've got a motorcycle that goes 186. I'll be racing it at night. I have an appetite for danger.' And, as he surely knows, there are plenty of men out there who'll feed it.