7 Ways to Have a Great Encounter
"I don't just hook up" is a phrase you will hear a lot when dating. Many guys love to say they never hook up, but by the end of the first date they're often doing just that with you or one of your drunk friends. It is not my place (or yours) to judge what people do with their lives, so here are some tips for enjoying your single years without getting into trouble.
1. Recent Photos - Having recent photos in your online profile is going to guarantee connections go per plan. You wouldn't like a guy showing up at your door looking nothing like his photo. Neither does your potential date. Not having a photo is not an excuse anymore, and if you do not have a recent photo there is always a suspicious reason why...
2. Age is YOUR age - Just because YOU think you look 30 doesn't mean you are. You are actually 39 and you need to say it. A friend of mine lies about his age by three years. He tells guys when he gets called on it that the system didn't update his age. Really? On all 4 of your different profiles on different systems? That is amazing! People have a right not to want you for whatever reason— just like you do. No one wants to be lied to. Just be honest. If someone thinks you are too old, then they'll be missing out on a great opportunity. It is their loss. If you feel a need to lie in order to meet guys, then you need to take a hard look at yourself because you have bigger problems going on.
3. Explain the Plan - Nothing can ruin a hot moment more then inviting a guy over for some fun and then making him watch Muriel's Wedding and cuddle first. Make sure you explain the plan ahead of time. Are you just hooking up? Are you going to hang out before? Can they spend the night or not? Just be clear. This will save you from awkwardness or confused expectations.
4. Play Safe - I hate that I still have to even mention this. I would think by now our community would be playing safe but this is not the case. Just because he tells you he is clean, or his last test was 3 weeks ago, does not mean you should trust him. Make sure you make the right decision.
5. "I'll Call You" - How many times do guys say this (Or how many times have you said it?) and did not mean it? Save yourself the trouble and the bad karma, and don't make promises you are not going to keep. If you want to call, then ask for their number or, better yet, give them yours. It comes down to being honest. You save so much time and hurt feelings if you are just honest.
6. Be Respectful - You are both consenting adults so be respectful of each other. If they do not like something he wants to do, stop. Likewise, don't pressure someone into doing anything he doesn't want to do. Also be respectful of their discretion. You do not want to walk the "walk of shame" when word gets out about what you do in bed, so give them the same courtesy; no one wants to hear over brunch what someone said about them to every gay in town.
7. Have Fun - I receive tons of emails on meeting men and hooking up. Is it OK? Should I do them on the first date? Should I not? That's up to you, and it doesn't mean it will lead to love or even a friend. Hooking up doesn't make you are a slut, either. Just choose what works best for you, your life and your goals. And don't judge others about their personal business. We each need to live our own lives and keep our noses out of others.