Gay Polyamorous Relationship in New York

By: Joe Thompson

With all the discussion about marriage equality right now, and an intense desire by the mainstream gay community to be seen as equal to straight couples, two types of gay relationships have been quietly moved into the shadows: open and polyamorous relationships.

Open relationships are the ones most gay men speak about. The types vary. There are committed couples who bring in a third (or more) at various times to spice things up, spouses with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, couples who can have any kind of sexual liaison they please as long as each man is emotionally committed to his partner, and so on. On the other side, polyamorous couples are made of three or more committed partners. You often hear about that kind of thing among heterosexual Mormons living outside of the mainstream Latter Day Saints Mormon Church, but not as much among gay men. That, however, could change.

Polyamorous Relationships in New York City is a short film from producers Nilo Tabrizy and Suvro Banerji. It examines the lives of Franco, Mark and Vinny, who have been living together in a closed polyamorous relationship for two years. By "closed," that means they're exclusive with each other.

Some gays are simply uncomfortable with this notion—much like many heterosexuals—and either don't understand the concept or simply reject it. Others in the LGBT community get angered when they hear about these relationships, thinking it's politically bad for gay people and reinforces stereotypes that we're a deviant subculture. Still other gay men have a "live and let live" philosophy towards polyamory, or feel that because we're already considered outsiders and sexual outlaws in mainstream society that we have the right and responsibility to not play by society's rules.

Where do you stand? Check out the video to see one real life couple's story, then weigh in below.

Polyamorous Relationships in New York City from Nilo Tabrizy on Vimeo.