The Beckhams Heart Tom Cruise on Oprah...Awkward!

(Getty Images) If the universe was ever going to explode from the sheer power of ego and self-referentialism, it would've been because of today's Oprah. In Part 2 of "25 Years of Tom Cruise!"...yes, really...Posh and Becks filmed a strangely uncomfortable homage to their "good friend".

They're such good friends, in fact, that when Tom learned that Posh & Becks' first date was to Jerry Maguire, Tom sent over one of the jackets he wore in the movie. Ok, first of all, it's not like Jerry MacGuire was particularly known for the jackets Cruise wore in it (Top Gun or All the Right Moves...maybe). Secondly, isn't this the kind of gift celebs give to kids in the hospital? And is it me, or is the gift just a little...gay? 

Of course, Posh & Becks just feed this theory. They follow up this charming anecdote with the quip, "and David hasn't take the jacket off since". No, really...he hasn't. Their whole schpeel to Cruise sounds forced, or like they are hiding something. Whether it's the gay thing, or the Scientology thing, you just get the feeling that there is something hanging over their heads.

They certainly don't come across as bff's of TomKat. I mean, the most meaningful story they relate about Cruise is when he serenaded Katie with "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" and they all did the conga to it.  The conga! Once I was able to roll my eyes back to the front of my skull - and rewatch that part - I still can't figure out if it's even remotely possible that something that cheesy would take place in the lives of people who essentially rule the world, or if they are just all stupid enough to think that making up a story like that would be just the thing we want to hear about Cruise. Either way, we all lose.