Marcia, Marcia, Marcia: Brady Girl Maureen McCormick Pens Shocking Tell-All
Who knew that Marcia Brady did cocaine and Quaaludes, traded sex for drugs and was high during a meeting with Steven Spielberg? This isn't gossip, by the way. It's true!
But let me clarify: It wasn't actually squeaky-clean Marcia Brady who did these things—it was her portrayer Maureen McCormick.
Maureen, who is 52 now and years away from her days on The Brady Bunch, opens up about her crazy life in her salacious new memoir Here's the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice, which hits bookstores today.
It's quite a read. Where to begin?
For starters, Maureen comes clean about her drug addiction and admits that there was a point in the early 1980s when she was so desperate for cocaine that she wound up naked with some dude she met at the Playboy mansion.
The actress also acknowledges that she missed out on roles after The Brady Bunch ended its run because her drug use gave her a reputation for being unreliable. In fact, she says she was so high when she met Steven Spielberg to discuss a role in Raiders of the Lost Ark that she lost out on a chance to be in the film.
As for Maureen's love life, we already knew that she dated Barry Williams, who played her brother Greg on The Brady Bunch. Personally, I would have gone for Christopher Knight, who played her brother Peter, if I was Maureen.
Maureen also went out on a few dates with Michael Jackson while she was still on The Brady Bunch. This was a pre-plastic surgery Michael Jackson, so at least he was cute back then. Not surprisingly, he never tried to kiss her. Well, there was a peck on the cheek. But that's as far as they went.
After The Brady Bunch ended, Maureen went out on a date with Steve Martin, who she says was a good kisser. There never was a second date, though. Maureen theorizes that Steve was likely put off by her inability to carry on a conversation given that she was probably high during their date.
Some other tidbits from the book: Maureen reveals that Florence Henderson had nice boobs—she knows because she saw her TV mom sunbathing in the nude several times; Maureen and her TV sister Eve Plumb (Jan) got a little rebellious during the show's final season, refusing to wear bras; and Maureen had the hots for her TV dad Robert Reed and was the last to know that he was gay.
Can you imagine what straight-arrow Marcia would think if she read this book? Or Jan?
I was always more of a Jan fan. I liked Marcia, but she was too perfect for me—so much so that I didn't even feel bad for her when that errant football struck her in the nose just before the big dance.
"Oh my nose!"
Jan was more relatable because she was goofy and insecure. Remember when Jan made up a boyfriend named George Glass? I crack up thinking about her saying the name George Glass. I just had a thought—I'm going to be George Glass for Halloween!
To be honest, I didn't pay too much attention to Cindy. With those golden locks and that lisp, she was just too precious for me.
Did you watch The Brady Bunch? If so, who was your favorite Brady, and do you have a favorite Brady moment?
And back to Maureen's book, are you interested enough in the real life story of a Brady gone wrong to buy it?
Enjoy a classic "The Brady Bunch" clip:
(Images courtesy of Getty)