Poof! Website Turns Deceased Mormons into Deceased Homosexuals
By: Christopher Donaldson
2.24.2012
We can safely say that after death, Mormons reign supreme. As it happens, they believe that the most righteous of souls can one day turn into Gods with their very own hybrid universe inhabited by people like you and me, but under different names in distant galaxies.
They believe in three separate levels of heaven too— Celestial (the highest), Terrestrial (the middle) and Telestial (the lowest)—where husbands and their multiple “sister” wives can live together forever without hesitation in a spirit world very much like “God’s throne” or the “sea of fire and glass” they call planet Kolob.
But death always complicates things. After years of posthumously baptizing Holocaust victims such as Anne Frank and mere mortals not worthy of anything, such as Adolf Hitler, prominent Jewish groups, including the Simon Weisenthal Center, decided to speak out against the ritual, effectively calling it "insensitive to the living and the dead," according to Wiki. In any case, the Mormons would love to make you believe that their God still wants them to baptize deceased non-Mormons into the one and only true church, which is to say, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Is all this making you uncomfortable yet?
But thanks to the new website, All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay, turning Mormons into raging homosexuals for the rest of eternity is only one mouse click away. And unlike proxy baptisms performed on planet Earth, which give each soul the choice to either accept or reject conversion, there are no “take-backs” after you recondition a dead person as gay. You heard me. And here’s how, in two easy steps: First, enter the name of any deceased Mormon, or let the computer choose one for you, then press “convert.” Poof, just like that, you can make a celestial homo. Anyways, so much for resting in peace.
If you dare, visit alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com.
Comments
This article is in very poor taste and should be taken down. Just because Mormons disapprove of the GLBTQ community does not mean we should spoof them by condemning or speaking ill of their dead. We are better than this. If there was a website that took all our brothers and sisters that have died of AIDS and made them straight after death we'd be up in arms. Mormonism is a faith and deserves respect and tolerance even if most of our community does not belief in it.
Not talking about the practice will not make it go away. Talking about it, even poking fun at it causes change. Want proof?
Mormon Church to Members: Quit Baptizing Dead Jews
http://gawker.com/5890195/mormon-church-to-members-quit-baptizing-dead-jews
Don't confuse offense with a practice with intolerance with a faith. Just because people find pedophilia reprehensible doesn't mean they hate Catholic priests or the Catholic faith.
thank you very much, i talked to people in church and we made a promise that we would NOT baptize the Holocaust Victims and alot of people complain that people don't respect our life styles and that we should be treated as EQUAL BEINGS,yet i don't see how this makes an example of that,aside from me being a member of this church, even if we don't agree with what the Catholic Church says and the Jewish Faith says and the Muslim faith alot of Denominal Churches don't support gay marriage and don't agree with the life style, go to a Non Denominal Church that accepts gays,if you want to get married go to a state that made it legal and go to Canada, if you don't understand why my church dose this talk to a Missionary talk to the Bishop, actually get to know someone who is Mormon,instead of bashing someone because of their belifes if you're expecting yours to be respected,seriously
Mormons are still baptizing:
Mormons baptized slain reporter Daniel Pearl
http://articles.boston.com/2012-02-29/news/31111583_1_baptizing-holocaus...
I don't see much difference between turning this situation into satire than all the satire that has come out over the molestation cover up in the Catholic Church. Does it mean Mormons or Catholics are bad people? No. Has the leadership failed? Absolutely!
Holocaust Victim Baptisms Cause Mormon Church To Warn Members:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/03/mormon-church-to-warn-mem_0_n_1...
Yes thats exactly what it means. We should mock them. They're nuttier than squirrel turds.
I think this is hilarious -- and has as much legitimacy as the Mormon Church baptizing dead people into its fold. Who cares? Dead people are beyond earthly politics (unless you believe in the Dark Ages concept of indulgences). Anne Frank and Adolf Hitler will be judged by their Maker and I doubt they'll need to produce a certificate of baptism at that meeting -- or wear special underwear.
I know a lot of Mormons, and they are outstanding people. It makes me sad they have been so misrepresented by this article. Of course our beliefs are different, but we shouldn't stoop to making fun of the things that they consider sacred. How can we expect people to respect our beliefs and way of living, if we trample on theirs? It's hypocritical.
They're never going to respect you. You should learn to stand up for yourself instead being such a pussy.
Your intolerance and disrespect are everything that is wrong with the whole "gay rights" issue. Do you honestly expect people to take your comments seriously if you can't see past your own bias and hatred? Sure, this is a hot issue, but you should learn to say what you mean without being mean.
thank you,i've been a member since i was 15 years old,like i said before that i belive in some of the teachings,i don't agree with some things in the church,like drinking coffe and tea,i don't like the taste of coffe,but i love drinking tea,and i don't think the 3 kingdoms is right,it sounds like our economy, the Upper Class, Middle Class and Lower Class,how i've been raised by my mom who isn't Mormon and knows about me cause i came out to her,she always taught me that God loves all of us no matter what,i don't think we would have baptized Hitler because he killed 6 million Jews and according to the 10 Commandments it says Thou Shall Not Kill and that is one of the big Unforgiven sins,we are allowed to defend ourselves,some of my gay friends that know i'm Mormon know that i'm a good person and they respect my belifes,i don't think i'm going to be in the church till i grow old,but being in this church has made me happy and my life better then it was before
The Mormon practice of converting Jews, even Holocaust victims, into another faith against their will is reprehensible. Sometimes, heinous acts can only be processed with parody; like on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Onion, and All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay.
Mitt Romney won't even comment on the practice. As someone who wants to lead this country, he should denounce it. Unless, of course, he secretly supports it or has participated in it himself.
Isn't the Mormon Church in Utah behind the passage of Prop. 8 in California?
Yes, they were one of the chief backers of writing into the state constitution discrimination against gay people. Mormons are not your friend.
the church is agaisnt Prop 8 but they didn't fund it, it's the Knights of Colombus that were funding the No on Prop 8, when i was at church they were encouraging us to vote no,not forcing it down our throats, the church dosen't fund stuff like this, when Katrina hit we were the first ones there and the last ones to leave, after WWII we were giving Germany food to rebuild it's self and some of the other countries,one of our members came from Germany and he remebers getting canned goods from the LDS
Sorry but saying your church encouraged you to vote no but didn't force you is taking the easy way out. I was raised a catholic and afraid to come out when I was younger because of the churches view. people are swayed by the view of their particular church, if your church says its wrong most people are too much like sheep and will follow the 'Its wrong' position because its easier than free thinking. The Mormon church are acting irresponsibly baptising dead people who fortunately for the church have no voice left to sue them!
Check out the award-winning documentary "8: The Mormon Proposition."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1484522/
Who would want them?
I just converted Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich because they oppose marriage freedom.
The best revenge against the bigots is to make fun of them. If we refuse to take them seriously, they can't hurt us so much.
this is stupid,i go to the "Mormon" church every sunday, we don't change our names or live with our multiple wives,that's bull shit, i don't agree with some things the church says but i do belive in the church, just as you have gays who still consider themselves as Jews,Catholics,Baptisits and other relaions, we belive that we do Baptisim for the Dead,if the Deceased accepts the teachings then that's it,but if not then they're not members, we haven't done poligamy since 1836 and it was to help take of the families that their husbands were out on a mission or killed by the people who hated Mormons for no reason,my ancestors had joined the church in 1851 got on a boat from England and came here on the church they belive in,now i didn't join the church because it was in the family,i joined it because i felt that this church was right
Do the other drones at your church know you're gay?
Somehow I seriously doubt that he has actually come out to the leaders of his church. Like I mentioned before they shape easily your viewpoint it takes a lot of strength to go against that.
just converted Margaret Brown
lol
Tacky. We, as a community, seem incapable of taking the high road.
Why should we? If you don't have respect for yourself enough to defend yourself thats your thing. But leave others alone that want to attack their enemies.
I completely agree.
Oooppps found it sorry about that just converted Angela Anderson my work is done here.
It would help if there was a link to convert them? Just saying!
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