If You've Sinfully Enjoyed Chick-fil-A, Here's How To Repent
"Do to others as you would have them do to you" and "Love thy neighbor" are both written in the Bible. But many Chick-fil-A customers have run a-fowl of these teachings (yuk, yuk) by inadvertently funding anti-gay hate groups through their purchases.
Maybe some of you have also partaken of the Chick-no-gay. But that doesn't mean you have to live with greasy stains tarnishing your soul forever.
Introducing Chick-fil-a Confessional, a website where you can enter in your last meal at the anti-gay eatery and then receive penance by donating to the Human Rights Campaign, the It Gets Better Project or Gays and Lesbians Allied Against Defamation.
You can also make up for your sins by hugging a gay, though we assume hugging a lesbian, bisexual or trans person will work just as well—way to affirm our basic humanity.
Now, that doesn't mean you can just go eating Chick-fil-A and repenting whenever you want. If anything, go eat at KFC—the Colonel certainly wants your business.