Guess What Else Is an Abomination in the Bible...

By: Daniel Villarreal

Bible-thumpers who quote Leviticus to condemn any man who "lies with a man as one lies with a woman" should know that the Old Testament book also condemns a lot of boring things as well.

The site Banned by the Bible lists the 75 other no-nos listed in Leviticus. Turns out that The Good Book also forbids all of the following:

"3.   Eating fat (3:17)
12.   Letting your hair become unkempt (10:6)
13.   Tearing your clothes (10:6)
16.   Touching the carcass of any animal which doesn’t both chew cud and has a divided hoof (cf: camel, rabbit, pig — problems here for football players) (11:8)
23.   Going to church within 33 days after giving birth to a boy (12:4)
24.   Going to church within 66 days after giving birth to a girl (12:5)
36.   Having sex with a woman during her period (18:19)
54.   Mixing fabrics in clothing (19:19)
58.   Eating fruit from a tree within four years of planting it (19:23)
60.   Trimming your beard (19:27)
61.   Cutting your hair at the sides (19:27)
62.   Getting tattoos (19:28)
65.   Not standing in the presence of the elderly (19:32)
66.   Mistreating foreigners – “the foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born”  (19:33-34)
68.   Cursing your father or mother (punishable by death) (20:9)
75.   Selling land permanently (25:23)"

That basically means that a lot of meat-eaters, hipsters, church-going mothers, horny straight guys, barbers, real estate agents and anyone sitting down at an old-folks' home  are all abominations in the eyes of God. Oh and most of the Republican party (surprise, surprise).

Of course, anyone who goes around quoting Leviticus to hate on gays has a pretty outdated concept of God. Even Orthodox Jewish rabbis like Dr. Aharon Lichtenstein say that Leviticus lovers need to cool it with the gay-hating because such folks tend to overlook their own abominable sins just to scapegoat the 'mos.

So the next time you start feeling all gay and abominable, just remember that the ancient Hebrew God considered shrimp cocktail and ham sandwiches abominations as well. Makes us hella glad we don't live in a BC-era desert caravan filled with escaped Jewish slaves... though we hear Kansas is a close second.

Tags: Hot Topics