By: Brandon Voss
Whether a love affair just fizzled or you've been flying solo for eons, these 10 suggestions may keep you from totally falling apart on February 14.
If you want to get militant about your singledom and say crap like "No longer shall we suffer to be the hapless prey of Cupid or the pawns of St. Valentine," do a little research and find a Black Hearts anti-Valentine's Day party in your neck of the woods.
No one buying you chocolates and cookies this year? Buy 'em your damn self to complement your inevitable alcohol consumption. If you're going to indulge anyhow, you might as well get the good stuff and support gay-owned businesses like NYC's Schmackary's and L.A.'s Compartés Chocolatier — which is now selling artisan chocolate hearts hand-studded with spices, nuts, and fruits. Mmm... fruity.
Because sometimes it's nice to wallow, create a new iPod playlist — or even an old-school mixtape — of moody gay singer-songwriters who sing depressing songs about gay heartbreak and general gay misery. Think Jay Brannan, Matt Morris, Rufus Wainwright, and Frank Ocean in a pinch.
Ugh, let's see what's on TV on the night of Feb. 14... oh, the series premiere of AMC's Freakshow, a reality show about the eccentric family of freaks who work the Venice Beach Boardwalk. That'll do.
Get an adorable Voodoo doll on Etsy and concentrate on the last guy who did you wrong and left you single — as you stab that tiny whore through the heart.
Wipe those tears, tweak those profile pics, and try your luck on the newly redesigned Gay.com.
Yup. Porn. Any questions?