Something Borrowed, Something...New?

By: Gay.com
10.9.2008

Some friends of mine are getting married today, right now as we speak actually. They are at City Hall in San Francisco - and if you've never been there, do yourself a favor and go. I know it sounds cheesy, but I defy you to not get veklempt. It's a beautiful thang.

But in preparation for today's festivities, another friend of mine asked one of the grooms if they needed anything; you know, something borrowed, something blue? He just laughed her off - but it got us thinking...and as thinking usually does, it lead to googling. We wanted to know: are gays adhering to these traditions, or are brides-and-brides and grooms-and-grooms tossing them out on their antiquated, hetero-asses and coming up with new ones?

Georgebrad Turns out, most gay couples don't want a new set of traditions. Perhaps finally having the right to participate in one of our society's most "sacred" and traditional acts is fulfilling enough. For some gay brides and grooms, they've waited their whole life for this moment, and now that they can marry, there's no desire to change anything. In fact, they want the white cake, the flowers, the invites - all the trimmings of your typical hetero-wedding - just as they'd always dreamed about but never thought possible.

And really, gay couples have enough to stress out about -  things that straight couples don't have to give a second thought to: do we invite grandma & grandpa? is our dream location "gay friendly"? should our suits match? if a lesbian wears pants to her own wedding, is she automatically the groom? just how GAY should our wedding be?

Well, according to a 2003 article in The New York Times, gay couples seem to consistently skip is the first dance. And actually, come to think of it, that is a great tradition to skip...I've been to too many straight wedding receptions where you are just forced to sit there with a frozen smile on your face while you watch the happy couple painfully demonstrate what they learned in a six-week ballroom dancing class while some Bryan Adams ballad is playing in the background (though I have to admit, I am always so curious to find out what the song will be...and then invariably disappointed. This is where gays could really make a difference!)

But what about "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue". Does it even occur to gay couples to partake in this tradition? I mean, it's a bride thing right, so it's possible many guys don't even know about it; and lesbians...well, guess it depends on the girl, right?

I say here's our chance to own part of the wedding culture. We can forge a new set of traditions, ones that don't rock the boat for all those couples who want to live out the dream of the cookie-cutter wedding, but will privately have a connection to gay culture and can apply to men and women. (And anyways, if we come up with something too fabulous, you know the straights will just co-opt it for themselves.)

How about: Something sexy/something cuddly/something secret/something bubbly. OK, I know that is awful...I'm a blogger not a poet, so help me out. Write in with your own version, or just suggest what couples can do to gay up their weddings without upsetting the villagers.

[Also -- if you plan on getting married, Check out the Gay Weddings by the Knot Web site].

Images courtesy Getty

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