Heidi Montag Is NOT Plastic Fantastic

By: Brodie

Heidi Montag mutilated her natural body so she could become the painfully plastic cartoon, fun-house mirror version of a woman we are visually accosted by today.

I’ve seen drag queens on amateur night in Kansas who look more natural. In the wake of fatal butt-implant mishaps, the draw of plastic surgery is scarily increasing among women (and men) in a staggering array of financial standings and age groups. While some sane folk wonder WHY anyone would willingly subject themselves to the painful recovery and inherent risks of cosmetic surgery, Heidi thinks it’s just SO funny to spoof her purchased plasticity that frightens even her own flesh-and-blood mother for a Funny or Die segment.

Your mock PSA about the dangers of footing the bill for expensive surgeries on credit is not cute, pale balloon-implanted person. Paris Hilton’s FOD clip was hilarious by comparison. Spencer was the funniest/least grating part of this video. Seriously. Also what would you know about debt when Speidi gets paid $65K an episode? The fact that Ron Howard directed this sad satire is not encouraging. Are we really accepting this level of fame-hungry desperate pandering as bona fide celebrity? Please stop encouraging this freakishly surgically “improved” chick from The Hills with publicity opportunities, Hollyweird.


Aspiring actors, take this video as a cautionary tale: Even tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of painful surgeries won’t change the fact that you’re a talentless and uninspired performer. Skip the knife and take an improv class if you wanna up your creative cred.

Images courtesy of Getty

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