Laura Bush Named 2011 Dallas Gay Pride Marshal

By: Christopher Donaldson

Correction: Laura Bush Wants You to Know She Keeps Gay Friends.

Librarian and former first lady Laura Bush, the same Laura Bush who said, "George, if you want to end world tyranny, you have to stay up later.  Nine o'clock and Mr. Excitement here is in bed, leaving me to watch Desperate Housewives with Lynne Cheney.  Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife," has published a memoir titled Spoken From The Heart

The image of Lynne and Laura snuggled together on some dusty tattered Nancy Reagan couch looks more gay than Chely Wright's People Magazine cover


Photo:  Smithsonian Institution

Bushcover Laura writes, "In 2004 the social question that animated the campaign was gay marriage.  Before the election season had unfolded, I had talked to George about not making gay marriage a significant issue. We have, I reminded him, a number of close friends who are gay or whose children are gay. But at the moment I could never have imagined what paths this issue would take and where it would lead."

Did Laura stay up past her bedtime again? Did she sleep in late the following morning, hung-over from the previous night's TV bing? This would explain why she didn't get the memo about how her husband, Mr. Excitement, endorsed a constitutional amendment to strip basic  marriage equality rights away from same-sex couples.

George, speaking from his heart, said in 2004: "Marriage cannot be severed from its cultural, religious and natural roots without weakening the good influence of society."

Typing about these two people makes me feel weak. Besides, today is Cinco de Mayo. Let's strengthen the bad influence of society by opening a bottle or four of tequila and watching Desperate Housewives's episode 15. You know, the one where Terri Hatcher catches gay Andrew giving lip service to Justin. In a pool!

Update:  Laura Bush wants you to know she keeps Mexican friends too.

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