Writes of Passage: Laura Sutherland

Dear Baby Dyke Laura,

I am so proud of you. When that moment of truth happened for you, you didn’t hold back. You figured it out May 5th 1978: “I am gay.”

The day before, it never occurred to you and the day after, it all made perfect sense. You happily told everyone who would listen, and you never will believe in any myth of the closet. The sheer joy you felt those first couple of months is how every kid should experience it: Dancing, meeting new friends, learning a new language, marching in your first protest, and feeling free, really free— like you knew and owned who you are.

I can tell you that your struggles will never be about who you are or that you are a lesbian. Your struggles will always be about believing your truth and living as big as you want to live. Sure, I could give you a score sheet about who to avoid and what better things to follow up on, stuff that will be the ruin of you and things that could have been your dream, but you might not become who I am right now. And I like her right now.

You are a strong woman, a powerful dyke, and you will do some good things.

Good for you for standing up when no one else would. Good for you for speaking your mind. Good for you for every little step you took so our gay youth can walk the streets holding hands and live the lives they want to. Thank you for making the world better for me to live in. That took a lot of guts, even if you never realized it.

From Laura, 50 and going strong, with love.

Laura Sutherland came out in El Cajon, CA, a conservative suburb of San Diego in 1978. She spent many years with ACT-UP and other LGBTQI activist groups trying to make a difference. She lives with her legally wedded wife, Bonnie, running her small coffee business, The Goddess Kaffeina and working on marriage equality.

Read more letters in our National Coming Out Day section on Gay.com.

Dear Baby Dyke Laura,

I am so proud of you. When that moment of truth happened for you, you didn’t hold back. You figured it out May 5th 1978: “I am gay.”

The day before, it never occurred to you and the day after, it all made perfect sense. You happily told everyone who would listen, and you never will believe in any myth of the closet. The sheer joy you felt those first couple of months is how every kid should experience it: Dancing, meeting new friends, learning a new language, marching in your first protest, and feeling free, really free— like you knew and owned who you are.

I can tell you that your struggles will never be about who you are or that you are a lesbian. Your struggles will always be about believing your truth and living as big as you want to live. Sure, I could give you a score sheet about who to avoid and what better things to follow up on, stuff that will be the ruin of you and things that could have been your dream, but you might not become who I am right now. And I like her right now.

You are a strong woman, a powerful dyke, and you will do some good things.

Good for you for standing up when no one else would. Good for you for speaking your mind. Good for you for every little step you took so our gay youth can walk the streets holding hands and live the lives they want to. Thank you for making the world better for me to live in. That took a lot of guts, even if you never realized it.

From Laura, 50 and going strong, with love.

Laura Sutherland came out in El Cajon, CA, a conservative suburb of San Diego in 1978. She spent many years with ACT-UP and other LGBTQI activist groups trying to make a difference. She lives with her legally wedded wife, Bonnie, running her small coffee business, The Goddess Kaffeina and working on marriage equality.

Read more letters in our National Coming Out Day section on Gay.com.