Lesbians Give "Gay 101" to Straights

By: Joe Thompson
2.20.2011

Writer Ariel Shepherd-Oppenheim wrote a genius piece for SheWired.com where she educated straight folk on what to do when someone they know comes out as gay. We loved it so much (along with the scissoring image that should TOTALLY be on a shirt) that we decided to serve it up for you here.

Dear Breeders*,
*Straight people. Duh. Because they like, keep popping out babies like little bunny rabbits.

Yes, it can be confusing when a friend comes out to you. I understand. Maybe you’ve known them for years, maybe you’ve known them since they were just a fetus, but something has changed. Drastically. It turns out…

They like vagina. (Or, you know, man parts. Whatever.)

Cue Jaws music.

You feel like you don’t know them, like they’ve betrayed you even. How could this happen? Your friend even seemed so straight (maybe). There’s no way they could be gay… Right?

Well, unfortunately, ummmmm you were WRONG. Obviously. Otherwise your little homo friend (like, for example, me) wouldn’t have come out to you in the first place but would have continued dating big, masculine folks who come with a permanent penis attachment. Just like the men you enjoy fellating!

Continue reading >>

I Love Scissoring Writer Ariel Shepherd-Oppenheim wrote a genius piece for SheWired.com where she educated straight folk on what to do when someone they know comes out as gay. We loved it so much (along with the scissoring image that should TOTALLY be on a shirt) that we decided to serve it up for you here.

Dear Breeders*,
*Straight people. Duh. Because they like, keep popping out babies like little bunny rabbits.

Yes, it can be confusing when a friend comes out to you. I understand. Maybe you’ve known them for years, maybe you’ve known them since they were just a fetus, but something has changed. Drastically. It turns out…

They like vagina. (Or, you know, man parts. Whatever.)

Cue Jaws music.

Sw_homepage_logo You feel like you don’t know them, like they’ve betrayed you even. How could this happen? Your friend even seemed so straight (maybe). There’s no way they could be gay… Right?

Well, unfortunately, ummmmm you were WRONG. Obviously. Otherwise your little homo friend (like, for example, me) wouldn’t have come out to you in the first place but would have continued dating big, masculine folks who come with a permanent penis attachment. Just like the men you enjoy fellating!

Continue reading >>

READER COMMENTS ()