Beating the Single Blues

By: Gay.com
9.23.2008

Whoever said being single was easy must have been in a relationship way too long. Most of us long to fall in love with Prince Charming and live happily ever after, just like in those Disney movies. Some of us would just settle for a guy who calls back and makes us laugh.

There may come moments in your single life when you feel a little blue. Here are five ways to handle or even celebrate being single:

You do not need a relationship.
You don't need a relationship to be complete. You are complete with just yourself.

I always like to share this perspective with my clients: A relationship is birthday cake. You are the cake, the foundation. A partner is the icing on the cake. If the cake is not complete, then all you have is a bunch of icing covering up a sloppy cake. And we all know too much icing will make us sick.

You want to make sure your foundation is strong. You need to learn about yourself, your dreams, your values and your goals. This will help you be a complete solid person ready for the icing on their cake, so to say. You don't need a relationship; you want a relationship and there is a big difference.

Take yourself out on a date.
Instead of waiting for someone to ask you out, or for someone to accept your offer, you just need to take yourself out on a date.

I know it sounds silly, but if you give it a try, you will be surprised how nice it is to treat yourself. Maybe take yourself to a spa for the day and a light lunch. You could go grab dinner at your favorite place, then catch that movie you have been dying to see.

It's all about doing something for you. You deserve it. Think: If you play your cards right, you might just get lucky that night.

Make weekly plans with friends.
It's normal to want to be out and social. What if you set up a weekly "date" night with your friends?

Maybe you can meet each week for brunch, go over to someone's house and watch a TV show together, or even plan an activity such a softball, running, or cooking class.

You'll now have a weekly event to always look forward to, getting together with your friends. It's an open invitation, so anyone can miss a night or bring a new friend. The important part is it is a set time so your busy life doesn't take over a weekly commitment for quality times with friends.

Enjoy alone time.
We can't always have a three-ring circus in our lives. We have to learn to be OK with spending some time with ourselves at home. This is a great chance to self-reflect on your day or week.

Find activities you love to do by yourself. You could go back to painting or to any passion you once had. You could finally read the Tori Spelling book. You can do yoga or write in your journal. You can even just enjoy the slow pace and quiet of time with yourself and a cup of hot tea.

Our lives are full of busy things that keep us stressed and running on empty. We need some time to just be with ourselves and unwind. Makes us stronger for the next party we attend.

Be open for opportunities.
Don't allow the blues to get you down. I know this is easier said than done, but it's important. When you are feeling out-of-sorts, you can close yourself off from the world. This isn't effective in helping you make new friends or even to find love.

You can never give up on love. You just have to be open for the opportunity of love to come into your life. By working on yourself and making yourself happy with friends and alone time, you will be ready when you meet that guy who makes you laugh. Trust me; it will happen; it's only a matter of time.

I would love to hear how you celebrate being single. Please share your stories in the comments section. I look forward to reading them.

Based in Orlando, Fla., Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the needs and goals of the LGBT community.  Holding undergraduate and graduate degrees in communication from Rollins College in Winter Park, Fla., he is also ICF-certified as a professional life coach. His practice helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership, and setting and achieving goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.

Do you have a question about how to improve your life? Send an e-mail to pnohealth@planetoutinc.com

Tags: Lifestyle
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