A Crush on Me?

"I have a crush on this senior who I am pretty sure has a crush on me too. But sometimes I doubt it because what are the odds the hottest girl in school is gay and has a crush on me, a freshman? I realize she's going to graduate soon and I might never see her again! How do I make this work? I don't want one of the best things to happen in my life to be thrown away. I really like her and I just am so sure by her behavior and everything that she likes me too."

TONY:

You seem to contradict yourself: first you say you’re sure she has a crush on you, then ask how could the ‘hottest girl’ in school feel the same about you? See what you’re doing? Something tells you instinctively this could be a good thing, but then another, more insecure part of you says to you “you’re not good enough for this”. So, for a start, don’t listen to your insecurity, and believe you are worthy of and deserve, as we all do, a good, wholesome, loving relationship.

ADAM:

It sounds like you know what you have to do: you’ve got to ask her out before it’s too late. As Tony says, you’ve got to listen to your instincts on this one. Her behavior tells you she likes you. You really like her. You don’t want to spend your whole life wondering what might have been. It’s time to stop wondering, and act.

TONY:

And when you ask her out, remember you don’t yet know if she’s gay. So make it a friendly, social meeting so you can get to know each other better. I believe if you are then yourself, don’t try to manipulate the situation, enjoy being with her, then things will take a natural course and either you or she will get round to the inevitable subject. It may even take more than one such meeting, but it’s your life – take the opportunity, and don’t lose the chances that come your way!

ADAM:

You will, I am sure, find the right balance between going with the flow and letting things happen on the one hand, and being ready to ask the direct question about how she feels for you, if you detect the moment is right for that. See yourself as happy and relaxed in each others’ company. And if and when the moment is right, pop a cheeky kiss on her lips and see what happens!

TONY:

And, lastly, ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen if you do ask her how she feels about you? She might be flattered, intrigued, positively responsive, or it may put her right off you. Whatever happens then, though, you will know, and will be able to get on with your life. Good luck!

(Photo: Getty Images)

Life partners for more than 20 years, Adam Clark and Tony Dines are the United Kingdom's leading life coaches specializing in the needs of gay men. They have a private practice in London and offer face-to-face, telephone and email coaching to men throughout the world. Check their website for information about private consultations.

Do you have a question about how to improve your life or your dating situation? Send an e-mail to dating@planetoutinc.com