I'm A Lesbian, And I Don't Want To Have Children

By Erica Gold

Am I the only lesbian out there who doesn't want to have kids? It sure does feel that way. I can't walk through Brooklyn's Park Slope without having to dodge lesbian couples pushing strollers. Sometimes they've even got those double-wide strollers with two babies, and I wouldn't be surprised if the day comes when I see triple-wide strollers hogging the sidewalks.

While I find that strollers can be a hazard to pedestrians when they're pushed by distracted parents (it should be illegal to push a stroller and talk on a cell phone at the same time), it's not like I hate kids. I love my four-year-old niece and enjoy spending time with her. But I have never, ever wanted a child of my own. My biological clock just isn't ticking. When I think of bringing a new life into the world, I think of adopting a kitten or a puppy. I don't think of giving birth to or adopting a child.

This isn't something new. I have never wanted to have kids.

But I feel like the odd woman out these days. Other lesbians are shocked when I say I don't want to have children. Some even question whether there is something wrong with me. "It is such a natural urge," one of my lesbian friends recently insisted. "I can't understand why any woman wouldn't want to have a child."

I can't believe I get this kind of pressure from other lesbians! My own parents don't even pester me about having children.

I am glad that lesbians who want children can have them, but I resent the implication that I am not a  "normal" woman because I am not itching to have my own bundle of joy. Look, not everyone wants to have kids.

So let me go back to my original question: Am I the only lesbian out there who doesn't want to have kids? And is anyone else feeling pressure to do so?