Are You A Bitch?
You have seen the looks and heard the whispers. Finally, a true friend tells you that you "act like a bitch." You laugh and wear your bitch crown with pride, but soon your jeweled headpiece starts to tarnish. You can blame your behavior on being picky, blunt or opinionated. But sometimes those are just nice words for saying you're just a bitch!
Here are four warning signs to help you see why you might be perceived as a bitch and great solutions on how to combat these behaviors so you receive better results.
Do you critique first? When you go out with friends and the night is over, do you tell them how it could have been better, or do you say thanks for a great night? We can always find ways to improve anything, but it is not always the best time to share them. Be careful when you find yourself critiquing everything and everyone around you. You want to make sure you appreciate first.
Remember when you worked for weeks on a project at work and when you turned it in, your boss said, "Well, you should have put it in a red folder, and make sure you include data next time." You didn't really want to do it next time. You really just wanted a nice thank-you first.
Do you always share your opinions? You know everybody has an opinion. Do you tend to always give your two cents on every topic or story you hear? Anyone can give an opinion, but why are you doing it? Do you want to help the other person? If so, it's nice to ask if he even wants to hear what you have to say before sharing your personal view.
When you ask someone first, you are not giving an opinion but now are giving welcomed feedback. Your friend is more accepting of the information because you asked. You are sharing your view in a more positive way then just telling someone how to live his life.
Do you tend to judge? When you are at a party, are you the person to sit next to if you don't have anything nice to say? When you interact with people, are you making judgments based on their behaviors (too feminine) their looks (too overweight) or their age (30 is way too old)?
Not everyone is going to be just like you. Not everyone is gay, but we deserve to be treated with respect no matter what. Everyone who is different deserves the same. Try to accept people for who they are. We are all unique and that is great. We do not need to like or love everyone, but it is nice to respect them as fellow human beings.
Do you lie? Have you ever told someone you would go to a party and didn't show up? Have you ever told a guy at the club you would call and then didn't? No matter if you did it because you didn't want to hurt his feelings or you did it on purpose; you still were lying. Lies do not get us out of trouble; they just get us deeper into it.
Telling the truth is always the best answer. It is not rude to tell a guy politely you are not interested. It is OK to say you really are not interested in the party. Sure, the person can be disappointed but he will appreciate your honesty. Honesty saves so much time and so many relationships.
Are you a bitch? I don't know, but I do know you can improve your behaviors if you want to. Only you can take the first step in treating others as you would like to be treated. Just because life is a bitch doesn't mean you have to be.
Based in Orlando, Fla., Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the LGBT community. He has undergraduate and graduate degrees in communication from Rollins College in Winter Park, Fla., and is ICF-certified as a professional life coach. In his practice, he helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership and setting and achieving personal and professional goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.