Clubby buddy
This is a friend or a group of friends you spend time with but only at the bar, club or parties. You notice you always have fun and have something to do, but it is always around the party scene.
Sure, you're never alone when you go out, but what happens when you want to spend a night at home? You end up sitting there all by yourself, wondering where your "friends" are.
You'll notice all your activities together will be surrounding clubs, bars and parties. Even days at the theme parks revolve around drinking and making it another party experience. When you need friends the most, they will be at the next party and you will once again be left alone.
Dark cloud
Not all friends are happy. Some can act like Eeyore from "Winnie the Pooh." Sure, we're not going to have great days every week, but is every day going to be a day when the glass is half empty?
You are being a good friend, a great listener and a strong shoulder for your friend, but everything bad just seems to happen to him. He's always down, always sad or always hurt by something you or someone else did. Eventually, it starts draining your energy as well.
There is a point when a friend has to stop being a victim to life and start being a survivor. You can not help him make this change; he has to be willing to do it on their own. Be careful not to get too sucked into it. Misery does love company.
Users
You will notice these friends very easily when they are around other people you care about. It is harder to see them when they are your friends.
You have a kind heart and care about your friends, so it's easy to not notice how they are using you. It starts out with little things, but over time those little things add up.
They always seem to need something and you are there to help. You are happy to, because you know they would help you, but for some reason, you don't ever seem to need help and they always do.
One major warning sign is that their need for help always comes at a convenient time. You happen to share that your other friend got you a discount on concert tickets this week and next week they happen to need some tickets for themselves. You share that you got a new promotion and they happen to need to borrow money. Your fortune and hard work starts to benefit them more and more.
Single pal
You and your friend are both single and you spend all your time together. You go out to dinner, movies, concerts and even plan vacations together. You both are having so much fun. Your friend starts dating someone and then you never hear from him. What happened?
A single pal is a great friend when he's single, but once he finds someone, he no longer needs you. Once he's single again, the whole cycle starts up again.
It's not good to be someone's friend until he doesn't need you. You have needs too, and you deserve a friend who is around all the time. There is nothing wrong with having friends when you have a boyfriend.
To help you decide if your friend is toxic, simply ask yourself, "When I hang out with my friend, does life (overall life, not just the moments you are together) get better or does it get worse?"
I believe that true friendship is measured not by good times but when your friends are there through the bad ones.
I would love to hear your stories about toxic friends. What other types can you think of? Please share your stories in the comment section.
by Michael Moniz
Based in Orlando, Fla., Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the needs and goals of the LGBT community. With undergraduate and graduate degrees in communication from Rollins College in Winter Park, Fla., he is also ICF-certified as a professional life coach. His practice helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership and setting and achieving goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.
