Dear Dick: A Tattooed Tale


Dear Dick,

I think I have problem on my hands.

I am a good looking, smart, and interesting boy who just happens to have tattoos, crazy colored hair, piercings, and stretched ear lobes. This is not a problem for me but it seems to be a problem for the other gay guys where I live. They're usually immediately turned off by them, which I would normally just brush off, but at the same time it gets old because I would really like to date someone. It’s like the boys here in Nebraska either want to hook-up with me because I look like a "bad boy" or are just turned off.

Are my two options really just meaningless one-night stands, or being alone forever? Help.

Tattooed and Doomed

Dear T&D,

Dear Dick once knew a circuit boy who started dating a lawyer. It was hot and heavy, but the circuit boy was soon dressing more conservatively and changing the way he spoke in public in order to match his boyfriend’s lifestyle. It was less than a year before the lawyer had grown bored with the circuit boy, and the circuit boy had grown bitter with the lawyer because he’d changed those elements of himself the lawyer found attractive—all in a quest to be who he thought the lawyer wanted. In the end, they broke up.

The same could happen with you and your look, so continue brushing off people who don’t dig you for your personal style and sensibility. That’s who you are, at least at this point in your life, and you have every right to express that in any legal way you’d like.

Nick_piston_steve_cannon_14_20030214_1707957557If Dear Dick has learned anything in his many years chatting (and hooking up) with guys, it’s that there is always someone out there looking for just what you have to offer. That’s why bears, daddies, midgets, otters, leather queens, twinks, trannies, lawyers, circuit queens, closeted husbands, average every day guys and everyone in between can make it through the day—because we all inherently know there is someone out there who can make us happy. The same goes for you.

The good news is that there are guys who think you’re hot and want you for sex. Those are the men you want to invest in. Sure, some may be pigs just looking for sex (oink, oink—God bless them) but one of those swines might end up being a great date and eventually a great boyfriend. And while you may be actively looking around and feeling frustrated at the lack of serious interest, Dear Dick highly doubts you’ve dated every available man in Nebraska.

(And if you have? Congrats! That’s an amazing accomplishment. Now move to San Francisco where tatts and piercings are welcome.)

Trust Dear Dick. There IS someone out there for you. Have faith, keep looking, and don’t give up on yourself or the men of Nebraska.

Dick_ProfilePic Dear Dick isn't licensed in any medical field, but he has been around a lot and loves talking about it.

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