Dear Dick: My Friend Does Porn

By: Rick Andreoli
8.31.2010

Dear Dick,

This summer a new guy started hanging out with my group of friends. He's really cool but not my type, so we've been able to hang out, cruise guys at bars and have fun.

Last week I found out that he's started doing porn to pay for grad school. A mutual friend of ours brought the DVD to my house, and we both watched it. And even though I was never into him, it was kind of hot seeing him naked and getting nailed by several men. I even thought about it that night while I was "taking care of business," if you know what I mean.

But now I don’t know what to say when I see him next. Is there an etiquette to this sort of situation? And now that I'm kind of turned on by the guy, how do I get him to let me tap it?

Just a Friend

Steve_odonnell_25_20100512_1527129974 Dear Just,

There's a huge misconception that if a guy does porn he's also a big ol' whore who's into screwing everyone under the sun. It's not true. In fact, he may have sex less frequently than you do; sure, your friend did it on camera with people watching, but that just means he's an exhibitionist with student loan issues and not someone who wants to do you.

Bottom line (pun fully intended), if he hasn’t expressed interest in bottoming for you before now, chances are he’s not going to get interested just because he’s got a new income stream happening.

As for the etiquette involved, there are two ways to go and it depends on your relationship with him. One way is to approach this guy as you always would and say, “Hey, Pig-Bottom Jones, has your rump given out yet?” Then laugh out loud and slap him on the back. He’ll have to get used to that sort of thing anyway if he’s going to be spreading his legs on-camera for money.

The other option is to just say you rented a movie and were surprised to see that he was on it. Watch his reaction and if he's acting all squirmy and uncomfortable, then say it's no big deal to you—you just wanted to be honest about having seen it— and move on. If the guy's a friend then you should let him know you're cool with it and respect his choice to keep it private. If he's happy to talk, ask him questions like you would of anyone who was telling you about a new job. This is where you get to find out all the insider dirt you've been wondering about the porn business. But having hung with a porn star or 10, Dear Dick knows they often grow bored with work talk just like you do, so after a while you guys will just go back to being friends, cruising guys and having fun.

Remember, he's the same guy you knew before you watched his movie with a buddy (which sounds odd to Dear Dick, but since it wasn't part of your question it's being ignored), so treat him like you have been and let this new friendship continue to grow.

Dick_ProfilePicDear Dick is neither a medical doctor nor a licensed psychiatrist, but he's gone to both. He has not done porn but he has done a couple porn stars. He's also happy to talk about his experiences, which makes him our dirty expert on such matters. Leave a comment or send him an e-mail.

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