Dear Dick: Big Bear Seeks Tiny Twinks
I’m a big guy, a bit overweight. My problem is that I like to hook up with younger, in-shape guys. In fact, twinks are my favorite. But I’ve only had bad luck finding and hooking up with those guys.
I've read your column and know that you're right when you say there are men out there for me. That there are guys I like who are also interested in me. But how do I find them? Is there a specific code I should be using online, or a catchphrase if I'm on the phone chat lines?
Like ’Em Smaller
Wow... a phone chat line. Dear Dick didn't know they were still around. See, everyone can learn something from this column.
Okay, so here's the deal: You need to be out in the world looking for men. Not on phone lines that eat up your debit card like a school of piranhas and that don’t lead to actual hook-ups. Phone lines are great for phone sex, and if that's what you're looking for then enjoy. However, that's not what you want so hang up the phone.
You are right when you say that there ARE tons of twinks out there who love a man with a belly. Dear Dick is happy that you're not having any self esteem issue there. But—and pay close attention to this—you have to get out in the real world and go to the places where there are men who want what you are.
If you live in or near a city large enough to support a leather/bear/blue collar–ish gay bar, then go there. Don’t make the mistake of going to the local “twink” bar. You will find plenty of guys to lust over, but they won't be looking to check out your moobs. It doesn’t work that way. The guys in a place like that want each other. The ones of that species who will respond to your beautiful big belly in a very positive way aren’t there. Or if they are, chances are good that they're not mature enough to break away from their judgey young friends and chat you up.
But those guys DO exist, and they're either looking for you online or they're going to bars that cater to bears. If you're online, make it clear in your profile that you're proud of your size and looking for a smooth slinky stud. The same rule applies to being at a bar. Don't shy away from who you are and what you want. A confident man will always score.
If you are hesitant to hit the bars, here's one thing to consider: A bear bar is full of big guys who want each other too, so in this case the twinks will actually be competing for your attention. For you, this will be a no-lose situation.
He ain’t heavy, and he’s no doctor, but Dear Dick has hooked up with both kinds of men. Fortunately, he's not afraid to talk about it, so if you need some help, e-mail him.
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