Dear Dick: Looking for Some T&A
I’m 19 and I’m into feet. I’ve always been fascinated by shoes, socks, ankles, toes and bare feet. I’ve gone on a couple sites looking for other guys who are into it, and I never realized there could be so many different kinds of fantasies. A lot surprised me, and some really turned me on!
But once I started trading pictures with the guys on those sites they really weren’t my type. Their fantasies were, but I was hoping to meet someone closer to my age and all these guys were in their 40s.
I figured I was looking in the wrong place, so the other night when I was out with some friends I started flirting with a guy. When he asked what I was into I told him, and he looked at me like I was some crazy pervert. He didn’t reject me, but I didn’t feel safe giving him any more info about what I liked.
And then when my friends found out they started giving me crap. It was kind of harmless but I didn’t feel like laughing along.
I don’t think I’m a freak (Am I?), and I assume there are other guys out there who are close to my age and into the same thing (Are there?), but I can’t find them. What should I do?
First off, congratulations! Most dudes spend way too much time secretly harboring a fetish, too scared to pursue it. They end up being miserable. You’re 19, you’re exploring it, and you deserve to be applauded for that.
Liking feet is no different than any other fetish. They turn you on just like leather, underwear, fat thumbs or big ears turn on other people, so don’t you dare waste a second thinking you’re a freak. In fact, there are a lot of studs who have reclaimed the “pervert” moniker as their own, embracing their sexual kinks, taking pride in them. As long as you’re not doing anything illegal and no innocent is being harmed, then go for it.
About that guy and your friends. The hard truth is that you are advanced for your age and most dudes in their early 20s are still living in fear of judgment—by others and themselves— which is why you’re meeting so many men in their 40s; those older guys have gotten through their personal BS and are finally enjoying their sexual curiosities. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible to find someone your age who’s into your same kinks, but it can be tough. With that in mind, Dear Dick suggests a five-toed approach:
1. Keep going to foot sites and chat rooms. Be up front about what you’re looking for and see who responds. There could be another young stud who's keeping quiet and waiting for you to come along.
2. Start your own chat room on sites. You aren’t alone, and perhaps the only thing missing is someone willing to make the right space for others like yourself.
3. Don’t limit yourself by only seeking out the foot fraternity. Keep meeting guys and eventually you’ll find some who are willing to confide their fantasies to you. Their dirty dreams may not involve feet but they may offer you the opportunity to share and explore your interests. Those 40-year-old guys you met online were in their 20s once, and perhaps if they’d met a guy like you they would have started enjoying feet sooner, so be an ambassador to other young bucks.
4. Explore the BDSM and leather community. You may not see yourself as being in that realm, but you are adjacent to it, and any kind of kink is welcomed by these folks. In this world you’ll meet men who are willing to try new adventures. Plus, it sounds like you’re open-minded, so you may even find some new dimensions of your own psyche to investigate.
5. Don’t lose faith. You’re not alone, and you’re brilliant to be so young and going on this adventure. Continue on, and you will find your foot friends very soon.
He ain’t heavy, he’s no doctor, and he's never turned down a man wanting to worship his toes. Fortunately, Dear Dick is not afraid to talk about it if it helps you out. So if you need some help, e-mail him.
You must be a Gay.com member to e-mail Dick, but registration is FREE!