Gays Issue FAGwa on Rick Santorum

By: Christopher Donaldson
8.29.2011

Republican presidential hopeful, Rick Santorum, would like to make you believe that he has suffered long-term oppression, deep marginalization, and profound loss of homophobic power at the hands of radical Islamist homosexuals.

During a campaign stop at a tinted-glass solarium filled with white people in Spartanburg, South Carolina, Santorum claimed that the gays have answered a call to jihad against him over his vile and intimidating rhetoric to oppose marriage equality rights.

Oh my freaking model minority!

“And so the gay community said, 'He's comparing gay sex to incest and polygamy. How dare he do this.' And they have gone out on a, and I would argue, jihad against Rick Santorum since then,” said Santorum.

Let’s get this, err, straight. First, the radicalislamisthomosexuals refused to swallow Santorum’s comparison of homosexuality to incest and polygamy. Then they questioned his standards of masculinity and Christianity by asking for the same rights similar to those of heterosexuals. And now, they have diminished his self-centered, xenophobic interpretation of reality by calling attention to his oppressive word loads.

Man, minorities sure know how to exhaust superior, far-right politicos. Hello, we should all understand by now that Rick Santorum operates to keep gays, women, non-Christians, and any other human not made in the image of Rick Santorum down. In other words, we all better check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.

Gross sense of entitlement aside, Santorum (of all people), should know that tinted-glass solariums should only come filled with white Republicans at the Salt Lake City Sizzler Buffet. I know that. Everyone knows that, right?

Watch video below.

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