Sperm Bank to Redheads: Take Loads Elsewhere!

By: Christopher Donaldson

File this one under Warning Signs of Impending Apocalypse: Cryos International, the world’s largest sperm bank (Whoa, what! Not you, dear reader?), has stopped accepting donations from redheaded donors because its slush vaults already runneth over their 70 liter capacity.

Oh, come on now. My Mormon bishop probably keeps more liquids inside his kitchen pantry—diet caffeine-free Shasta okay—than the world's largest sperm bank keeps, well, inside its sperm bank.

Is that all you got, huh, Cryos International? Just 70 measly liters, 18 tiny gallons, 197 cans of diet Shasta? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“There are too many redheads in relation to demand,” said Cryos’s director, Ole Schou. “I do not think you chose a redhead, unless the partner –for example, the sterile male—has red hair, or because the lone woman has a preference for redheads. And that’s perhaps not so many, especially in the latter case.”

Schou did stress, however, that the demand for redheaded sperm remained “reliable” in Ireland, where it sold “like hot cakes.” Oh great, now every time I see pancakes my brain will think hot sperm cakes. Thanks but no thanks world's largest sperm bank.

Read full article here.

Tags: NEWS, Hot Topics