Chick Fil-A Introduces New, Delicious, Homophobic Sandwich

By: Daniel Villarreal

Ain't it about time that the fast food chain Chick Fil-A had food that's just as homophobic as its anti-gay owner and political donations?

You bet your waddle it is!

So starting this week, they've Introduced the new "Queer Hatin' Cordon Bleu," or at least, that's what the fake news magazine The Onion says.

According to The Onion:

"... company representatives said the homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce."...

"The Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu is our company's way of showing our firm commitment to strong, Christian family values," said Chick-fil-A spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda for just $6.95. "From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”

The article goes on to say that the restaurant will eventually include such other anti-gay menu items such as a No Fudge Packin' Soft Serve Cone, the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11 strawberry fruit smoothie—mmmm! Like sweet, manna fallen from heaven!

Is it any surprise that anti-gay Republicans like Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum love eating a Chick Fil-A? Cluck cluck, haters.

Tags: NEWS