Church Claims Stroking Horses 'Cures' Homosexuality

By: Jase Peeples
1.3.2013

We’ll never listen to the lyrics from Rawhide the same way again.

The Gay Star News reports, The Cowboy Church of Virginia is claiming homosexuality can be cured by -- wait for it -- stroking horses.

The church’s pastor, Raymond Bell, believes Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) not only helps men to be more masculine, but it can actually make the gay in anyone giddy up and get gone. 

“The first common misconception is that homosexuality is genetic, or hereditary, or as some say ‘born this way,’” Bell says. “EAP can help any person who is living the homosexual lifestyle or involved in it in anyway.”

We can’t help wondering if this includes our allies as well, or do our straight friends just need to be supportive of EAP to be cured from their involvement with us?

“Homosexuality is actually a type of addiction,” Bell claims.” It is not ‘curable’ as a disease because it is a ‘choice driven’ by the person.”

Exactly how does EAP make the gay giddy up away?

Bell explains he uses the horses in his church “to identify how a person got ‘involved in homosexuality to begin with. For example, because of rape, abandonment, lacking a male role model, abuse, and having low self-esteem.” He also believes gay teens can overcome homosexual urges by stroking horses.

(This gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘pony play.’)

Clearly Mr. Bell has never seen Brokeback Mountain and needs to be reminded “no one can talk to a horse of course that is, of course, unless that horse is…”

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