Gay Bears Love Oral Sex (And We're Not Talking About Scruff)
While homosexuality in animals has been observed many times in the past, scientists are discovering that bears like to blow each other...a kiss goodbye...on their penises.
Researchers from the Polish Academy of Sciences Department of Wildlife Conservation spent over six years and a hundred hours observing bears getting it on -- also known as my last few vacations in Provincetown -- during which they discovered "the first observations of long‐term, recurrent fellatio in captive brown bears kept in proper conditions".
Bears had previously been observed taking each other to Beej Town, but they were usually in sub-standard conditions, resulting in stress-induced fellatio. I know that game. But according to the researchers, whose work was recently published in the journal Zoo Biology, there were 28 instances of oral sex between two male bears living in a Croatian sanctuary:
All cases appeared to be initiated by the provider, who approached the receiver while he was resting on his side or with part of his abdomen exposed. If the receiver's genitals were not exposed, the provider would push his head into the pelvic region or use his paws to separate the hind legs. After accessing and initial licking of the penis, the provider would find a more comfortable posture, such as sitting or lying…once actual sucking started, neither bear changed position.
Hey, hey, hey, come on, let's save that smut for National Geographic.
The researchers seem to think that the bear-on-bear head game might be the results of long-term suckling deprivation, having been forced to wean from their mother at an early age. Typical: blame the mother. Next thing you know, these scientists are going to claim those bears got "gay haircuts" because they moved to the city and fell in with a "bad crowd."