You Are Not Prepared For Paul Ryan's Sexy Gym Pics

When Paul Ryan first got chosen as the Republican candidate for Vice President, everyone wanted to see a picture of him shirtless.

But while you may have enjoyed seeing his lean torso (or even the erotic tale of him hooking up with GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney), you won't like these newly released TIME magazine photos of Ryan pumping iron with a creepy, far-off Howdy Doody smile on his otherwise expressionless face.

His Bart Simpson-esque backwards cap and veiny bicep both evoke a sense of vital youth, a youth which is at odds with his denture smile and grandpa face.

Don't get us wrong. He's still cute in that "nice Republican uncle" sort of way, but he can't really hold a candle to "the silver badger," current VP Joe Biden—the grannies positively swoon when Diamond Joe jaunts his mancakes into an AARP rally.

The Romney-Ryan ticket undoubtedly timed the release of these photos to make Ryan appear more virile just before his appearance in tonight's vice presidential debate. We just wonder which man will outsexy the other when social security and women's reproductive rights are on the table. 

Please, God, let it be Joe.