But If Gay People Can Marry, Ducks Will Rule the World

By: Jase Peeples

Gawker reports New Zealand’s Northern Outlook recently published a letter to the editor from Jasmin, a homeschooled teen, who had a grim warning for our planet if same-sex marriage is legalized.

In her letter (pictured below), the 14-year-old warns that marriage equality will “threaten the human position on the evolutionary ladder, and say, ducks could take over the world.”

Why ducks? It’s simple. “Ducks always nest in pairs and if we allow same-sex marriage, then the ducks will have evolved further than we have.” She then prophesies, “We will be in danger of all being equal, with ducks more equal than all of us.

(We’re betting that last bit had George Orwell rolling with laughter in his grave.)

Though she admits in her letter to not believing in evolution, Jasmin goes on to say, “I don’t want my children to have to compete with ducks. I want them to evolve further than I have.”

She then insists that evolutionists need to “be consistent” and claims “If you believe in evolution, you can’t be in favour of homosexuality, or the ducks will get you in the end.”

Clearly Jasmin has never seen Daffy Duck in action. If she had she’d know ducks simply aren’t capable of global domination.

Rabbits on the other hand…