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Comments
Dr Liebing 4.6.2012 1:49:00 AM
Kink makes the world go round. Not in just Gay circles but "breeders" spend a great deal of time and money trying to spice up their sexual experiences. The bottom line on this issue of which I have a great deal of professional experience (and private as well). In a time not so long ago 2 people found each other or were coupled by their families to live happily ever after or what ever? No one cared about making sure there was a match, love, etc.
Flash forward to today and it's totally changed! The real goal is to do it as long, hard and with as many flowers one can place their stems into.
Even though some research has shown that gay couples tend to be much more open about opening their bed chamber to other partners than say hetero couple seem to do. So, my professional advice to all sides of the fence: "Sometime you need to make love that moves the ground or van your in to express your passions" then theirs the other side to it: " Sometimes we need to do it hard like bunnies.. Like we did every free second we had at any moment no matter how close you'd come to being caught". The conclusion is, in my very experienced opinion, make love as an expression of love and F*uck like bunnies when the urge strikes you. Providing all concerned are at least 18+, all concenting and willing to "go to wild side" at will. It's open season on kink! Party on dude.
I love it when a dominant guy makes me his bitch, and uses and abuses me. There is nothing better than a long sticky cuddle after sex - so many guys are so prissy and want to wipe themselves off with a Kleenex within seconds of cumming. Nothing sexier than lieing in each others arms, covered in the hot wetness of sex.
I know what you mean. If I'm gonna screw your brains out and make you mine the least you can do is let me lay there and spoon, jumping up and wiping me off is just insulting.
i LOVE picking up hit guys sweating underwear at the gym and sniffing em...if the guy is really hot, i will keep his underwear and use em to jack off with!
Lot's of good comments. I will agree with how vain the gay community is here in Raleigh and disappointing. Being a 40 something professional, you are completely ignored by the community. It is amazing how many local profiles are about 6', model looks, and 8" hung guys, and if you don't fit those measurements, you are considered out. Being an attractive guy that is in shape and 5'5" is just not desired. It seems that a guy with good values, that is trustworthy, hardworking, honest and looking for a 1 on 1 relationship is just not desired here, or from what I read any where. So the goal now is to pull back, invest in yourself, don't be bitter, but live your life.....
I agree-I take care of myself-am in decent shape- but when the gay community hears that you are 50-they act like you should be locked up in a home that you have no value anymore-what they don't relize is that someday they will also be in the 50 age group also and what are they going to do then
I am over 50...57 in fact...but because I hit the gym, stay in good shape and don't dress ar act old...I have a lot over younger men after me...sometimes, it's just your attitude...try coloring your hair, (have it done professionally, and beard(just for men) and dressing with the times and stop acting "old"...it may work wonders for you
I'll bet you're also a big build, aound 6' or so, and wear the "daddy" image well.
Try being (like me): 59 years old, 5'6", not hairy, not overtly masculine...and a bottom. And despite that I am nice looking for my age, friendly, outgoing, professional and financially stable.... young guys won't give me the time of day, and guys around my age only want to meet younger guys.
what u ve said is so real. i think guys who are not in great shape and are not good looking are not chosen in almost everywhere.but those with good virtues must finally be found by someone really right.
It was a bit hard for me to answer some questions as I am in a monogamous relationship. I tried to think about how my partner & I are together. Especially the question about how I think I am at sex. He would say I am Fantastic or above average. I tend to say I am average. I guess since we Love each other unconditionally rating each other on sex is not necessary.
As for the drugs and alcohol questions: Neither one of us does drugs or requires drugs to enjoy each other and while I have an occasional drink it is not a necessity for sex. I consider myself a very lucky man to have such a wonderful guy in my life.
I do not drink so having no option for none is a mistake. It is very hard to find someone in the Gay community who is not a smoker, drug user, and drinks alcohol. I am not comfortable at the bar and feel like a fish out of water, and sometimes i wonder if it is age or just because i will not participate in their game. I want to share my life and enjoy it too, but it is all about attitudes, and games, and not into them.
I was not able to answer all of the choices given as it said too many when it said to select all that apply. I get into some very kinky things and would love to find someone who enjoys it too.
I know i am not 20 any more and i know that is an issue too. One day those 20 something guys will be older and will begin to understand about age, and no longer in shape to show off their beauty.
Randy I totally agree with you on the age issue. I am 59 and find the younger wont even talk to you. I had my first love when I was 32 and it lasted 16 yrs and it was wonderful. But some times things happen that are out of your control.One thing I have going for me is that I look, so I am told by guys in their 30's that I look more like I am in my mid 40's , that should not be an issue but it does in the gay community. These younger guys will be older before they know it and will then understand aging. The model is very good looking however I have to ask what is he like in his heart. Seems most of the comments made here are from very young men. I have found that the really good looking guys on gay.com are stuck on themselves and since they can get sex when they want it , they dont think about a few years from now when they are alone. I have above average looks so I am told again. But was always the type of guy who knew what he wanted at an early age and that is a lasting relationship. Just thought I would put my 2 cents worth here since this seems to be a good place to put out my opinion and hopefully others will read it. I have not taken the test yet but I know what they are like..
Thanks for speaking out. I agree. I have a great job. handsome income, nice car, etc and I have no luck getting a date. Guess they believe in tough love.
I agree on the amount of drinking comment, I don't drink! I would like to be in a ltr/monogamous relationship, but it is so hard to find anyone that isn't into the bar scene, or that isn't into the one-night stand thing.
Lets start. Lets know. All is good. All is well. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Stepping in the path you feel is right for you is what we all enjoy. Just know that there are 2, remember always 2 sides to everything. We all will never know the end until we travel with something that we feel can lead us. That can be whatever you label is the lead. I love you and enjoy this message always.
Why in this day and age do you have to appear as Anonymous! Damn even a first name would be OK. When I see anonymous I see someone who doesn't admit his/her sexuality and is afraid!!
For statistical purposes, they prolly want to do another descriptive study on the behaviors of men of all persuasion in another cross-section design using a different time. Then, to make the findings meaningful, they could compare the results then with the results they get today to see if behaviors and perspectives have changed. This could make for a good article write up.
Don't we ALL pay for sex!!? If you go on a date, is each party (person) free? Dinner, Drinks, Movie or whatever, are all expenses that may be enjoyed and finished by sex. Isn't that paying for sex! Think about it. Whether you slip someone a 100 bucks or take them out for an evening before having sex... it pretty much the same - your paying for sex.
I found it interesting that these questions seemed pointed to only the singles out there. I happily have a wonderful husband, sexually active together, yet questions seem one sided.
You always pay for sex in one form or another, even if you are in a commited relationship. Isn't sex better when he or she gives you a gift unexpectedly or when you are taken out to dinner? If they make you feel special you end up paying for it in some manner, ie electric bills, car payments etc. Even in commited relationships you still pay for it.
Sex is our life force that has been repressed and attacked by a hostile heteronormative world. While we may not be more "kinky" than many heterosexuals, we certainly do value sex more. Sex as validation. Sex as release. Sex as a political act. Sex as community building. Sex as a gateway to love.
This survey reduces our sex to a set of practices and salaciously asks people to share their "perverted" sides. I bet you anything you would have gotten much better and longer responses if you accompanied the survey with an article that prompted respondents to think about "What quality do you find most sexually attractive in a man?" Or "What turns you on the most?" Or "What is your secret sexual fantasy?" Or "Describe the best eye-popping, toe-curling, mind-blowing sex that you've ever had?"
Not your best survey, guys. I don't mind doing the marketing so long as a conversation is sparked in the process.
Great to be making the survey, but no one should expect scientific accuracy here. There were some obvious missed options for some questions in the areas of alcohol consumption, body fitness, porn, as examples. And how exactly do we define "coming out" and "virginity", now that we know how complicated they are for many people? These questions should be more specific to behavior (ie: tell your parents, best friend, orgasm with a partner, etc.)
They also did not consider the age range. Back in the day I couldn't come out - had 5 brothers who were all "straight" and a society that hated us more than they do now. These young "twinks" are so lucky that they don't have to really be in the closet today. Of course now we have to face the facts of "getting a diviorce" - ie community property!!
Comments
Kink makes the world go round. Not in just Gay circles but "breeders" spend a great deal of time and money trying to spice up their sexual experiences. The bottom line on this issue of which I have a great deal of professional experience (and private as well). In a time not so long ago 2 people found each other or were coupled by their families to live happily ever after or what ever? No one cared about making sure there was a match, love, etc.
Flash forward to today and it's totally changed! The real goal is to do it as long, hard and with as many flowers one can place their stems into.
Even though some research has shown that gay couples tend to be much more open about opening their bed chamber to other partners than say hetero couple seem to do. So, my professional advice to all sides of the fence: "Sometime you need to make love that moves the ground or van your in to express your passions" then theirs the other side to it: " Sometimes we need to do it hard like bunnies.. Like we did every free second we had at any moment no matter how close you'd come to being caught". The conclusion is, in my very experienced opinion, make love as an expression of love and F*uck like bunnies when the urge strikes you. Providing all concerned are at least 18+, all concenting and willing to "go to wild side" at will. It's open season on kink! Party on dude.
I love it when a dominant guy makes me his bitch, and uses and abuses me. There is nothing better than a long sticky cuddle after sex - so many guys are so prissy and want to wipe themselves off with a Kleenex within seconds of cumming. Nothing sexier than lieing in each others arms, covered in the hot wetness of sex.
I know what you mean. If I'm gonna screw your brains out and make you mine the least you can do is let me lay there and spoon, jumping up and wiping me off is just insulting.
I love cumming inside a hot guys ass after pounding it hard.
I like to feel a man cum inside me so hard.
i LOVE picking up hit guys sweating underwear at the gym and sniffing em...if the guy is really hot, i will keep his underwear and use em to jack off with!
Lot's of good comments. I will agree with how vain the gay community is here in Raleigh and disappointing. Being a 40 something professional, you are completely ignored by the community. It is amazing how many local profiles are about 6', model looks, and 8" hung guys, and if you don't fit those measurements, you are considered out. Being an attractive guy that is in shape and 5'5" is just not desired. It seems that a guy with good values, that is trustworthy, hardworking, honest and looking for a 1 on 1 relationship is just not desired here, or from what I read any where. So the goal now is to pull back, invest in yourself, don't be bitter, but live your life.....
I agree-I take care of myself-am in decent shape- but when the gay community hears that you are 50-they act like you should be locked up in a home that you have no value anymore-what they don't relize is that someday they will also be in the 50 age group also and what are they going to do then
I am over 50...57 in fact...but because I hit the gym, stay in good shape and don't dress ar act old...I have a lot over younger men after me...sometimes, it's just your attitude...try coloring your hair, (have it done professionally, and beard(just for men) and dressing with the times and stop acting "old"...it may work wonders for you
I'll bet you're also a big build, aound 6' or so, and wear the "daddy" image well.
Try being (like me): 59 years old, 5'6", not hairy, not overtly masculine...and a bottom. And despite that I am nice looking for my age, friendly, outgoing, professional and financially stable.... young guys won't give me the time of day, and guys around my age only want to meet younger guys.
Oh just wait until you get into your 50's. Then you are considered nothing but a letch.
what u ve said is so real. i think guys who are not in great shape and are not good looking are not chosen in almost everywhere.but those with good virtues must finally be found by someone really right.
This will be controversial...I want to be semi raped. No hitting or extreme pain.
I've rolled play as a rapist many times. I get request to do that all the time.
It was a bit hard for me to answer some questions as I am in a monogamous relationship. I tried to think about how my partner & I are together. Especially the question about how I think I am at sex. He would say I am Fantastic or above average. I tend to say I am average. I guess since we Love each other unconditionally rating each other on sex is not necessary.
As for the drugs and alcohol questions: Neither one of us does drugs or requires drugs to enjoy each other and while I have an occasional drink it is not a necessity for sex. I consider myself a very lucky man to have such a wonderful guy in my life.
I do not drink so having no option for none is a mistake. It is very hard to find someone in the Gay community who is not a smoker, drug user, and drinks alcohol. I am not comfortable at the bar and feel like a fish out of water, and sometimes i wonder if it is age or just because i will not participate in their game. I want to share my life and enjoy it too, but it is all about attitudes, and games, and not into them.
I was not able to answer all of the choices given as it said too many when it said to select all that apply. I get into some very kinky things and would love to find someone who enjoys it too.
I know i am not 20 any more and i know that is an issue too. One day those 20 something guys will be older and will begin to understand about age, and no longer in shape to show off their beauty.
Randy I totally agree with you on the age issue. I am 59 and find the younger wont even talk to you. I had my first love when I was 32 and it lasted 16 yrs and it was wonderful. But some times things happen that are out of your control.One thing I have going for me is that I look, so I am told by guys in their 30's that I look more like I am in my mid 40's , that should not be an issue but it does in the gay community. These younger guys will be older before they know it and will then understand aging. The model is very good looking however I have to ask what is he like in his heart. Seems most of the comments made here are from very young men. I have found that the really good looking guys on gay.com are stuck on themselves and since they can get sex when they want it , they dont think about a few years from now when they are alone. I have above average looks so I am told again. But was always the type of guy who knew what he wanted at an early age and that is a lasting relationship. Just thought I would put my 2 cents worth here since this seems to be a good place to put out my opinion and hopefully others will read it. I have not taken the test yet but I know what they are like..
Thanks for speaking out. I agree. I have a great job. handsome income, nice car, etc and I have no luck getting a date. Guess they believe in tough love.
I have tried the personals on gay.com and have had no luck so if anyone feels the way I do you can contact me at my username
I agree on the amount of drinking comment, I don't drink! I would like to be in a ltr/monogamous relationship, but it is so hard to find anyone that isn't into the bar scene, or that isn't into the one-night stand thing.
when i tried to answer the question about things im into it would not accept my answer as said i ticked too many options
Lets start. Lets know. All is good. All is well. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Stepping in the path you feel is right for you is what we all enjoy. Just know that there are 2, remember always 2 sides to everything. We all will never know the end until we travel with something that we feel can lead us. That can be whatever you label is the lead. I love you and enjoy this message always.
What the hell are you talking about?
I am looking to meet new friends
I'm also looking to meet new friends. Wanna be friends??
me too !!!
Why wasn't there an option for zero drinks a week for those of us that don't drink??
why is it hard to find a guy that wants to be in a 1 on 1 relationship
Good survey I hope my input will be helpful, (or maybe not)
How about a survey for us in monogamous relationships
Spot on - I agree!!
Why in this day and age do you have to appear as Anonymous! Damn even a first name would be OK. When I see anonymous I see someone who doesn't admit his/her sexuality and is afraid!!
Probably because they don't want the wife or GF 2 find out! COWARDS!
Or.. Because I was too lazy to change the name for am earlier comment I left. Lol
or we just desire to remain anonymous :)
This is the same survey they have done before. Guess this stuff just gets recycled.
For statistical purposes, they prolly want to do another descriptive study on the behaviors of men of all persuasion in another cross-section design using a different time. Then, to make the findings meaningful, they could compare the results then with the results they get today to see if behaviors and perspectives have changed. This could make for a good article write up.
Sex keeps us alive. Why is that gay men rarely have erectile dysfunction. Took one of those pills once, advice to my gay brothers, don't.
Don't we ALL pay for sex!!? If you go on a date, is each party (person) free? Dinner, Drinks, Movie or whatever, are all expenses that may be enjoyed and finished by sex. Isn't that paying for sex! Think about it. Whether you slip someone a 100 bucks or take them out for an evening before having sex... it pretty much the same - your paying for sex.
I found it interesting that these questions seemed pointed to only the singles out there. I happily have a wonderful husband, sexually active together, yet questions seem one sided.
You always pay for sex in one form or another, even if you are in a commited relationship. Isn't sex better when he or she gives you a gift unexpectedly or when you are taken out to dinner? If they make you feel special you end up paying for it in some manner, ie electric bills, car payments etc. Even in commited relationships you still pay for it.
Sex is our life force that has been repressed and attacked by a hostile heteronormative world. While we may not be more "kinky" than many heterosexuals, we certainly do value sex more. Sex as validation. Sex as release. Sex as a political act. Sex as community building. Sex as a gateway to love.
This survey reduces our sex to a set of practices and salaciously asks people to share their "perverted" sides. I bet you anything you would have gotten much better and longer responses if you accompanied the survey with an article that prompted respondents to think about "What quality do you find most sexually attractive in a man?" Or "What turns you on the most?" Or "What is your secret sexual fantasy?" Or "Describe the best eye-popping, toe-curling, mind-blowing sex that you've ever had?"
Not your best survey, guys. I don't mind doing the marketing so long as a conversation is sparked in the process.
Why was there not a "zero" choice for the alcohol question? I don't drink at all.
Thank you. That was my thought too. At least it allowed for no drug use. :)
Was wondering the same thing. I drink, but it's maybe 3-4 drinks per year.
Same with me, I don't have the time or money or even want, to drink much at all. and for the past year I have had none.
Actually, there was a "hidden" choice for those of us who don't drink: I just didn't answer that question!
Great to be making the survey, but no one should expect scientific accuracy here. There were some obvious missed options for some questions in the areas of alcohol consumption, body fitness, porn, as examples. And how exactly do we define "coming out" and "virginity", now that we know how complicated they are for many people? These questions should be more specific to behavior (ie: tell your parents, best friend, orgasm with a partner, etc.)
Overall, glad to have participated.
The survey design is not experimental but more descriptive, so overall, it is still considered research.
yeah for sure, asked me if im a member of a gym but didnt give me an option for never get there..haha need to get my act together
They also did not consider the age range. Back in the day I couldn't come out - had 5 brothers who were all "straight" and a society that hated us more than they do now. These young "twinks" are so lucky that they don't have to really be in the closet today. Of course now we have to face the facts of "getting a diviorce" - ie community property!!
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