New York can be a disconcerting city. Living here I believe I want nothing more than to create stability and creativity and life. But life here must be ready for what is around each corner, each day, what stands between you and your destination. You must be ready for anything, and that is no place for stability, only intensity. Maybe that is what drives us, this ever ambitious wanting to survive and stay a step ahead. Once you’ve made it, you must move on to your next destination.

I have recently found myself at a crossroad with no trailheads. As summer comes to a close, weekends backpacking with my boyfriend are shyer; work becomes more of a concern. The effervescent idea of an endless summer romance becomes a partnership for the fall. I have fallen in love with someone, more then my career, but a real life relationship. I must gear up for the next chapter. Only problem is, I don’t know what I’m gearing up for. I have survived, correction, strived here as a single freelancer in New York for shy of two years. But I want more. I want to settle. I want to love and be loved. I want to know what is in store for tomorrow. I dream of mornings at an office, desk and chair with familiar faces each day. To know how my co-worker takes her coffee. To know when I will come home and see my man.

Like the weather, our goals change daily. Moods shift like clouds passing over bringing rain or snow or they can open up to sun. If only we could have an accurate forecast, to know what is in store for the month ahead. Is there an app for that? If styling can primarily be a matter of instinct, then I should use my intuition to dress for the weather to come. I will gear up for this next chapter and embrace what will come.

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