Now You Too Can Be a Sparklepony or Lustful Cockmonster

By: Brandon Voss

You gotta have a catch phrase! Minnesota Vikings punter and Out cover boy Chris Kluwe is fashionably milking two of his most quotable quotes for a very good cause.

The outspoken LGBT ally is selling T-shirts that reference two highlights from his epic open letter criticizing antigay politician Emmett C. Burns Jr.; "lustful cockmonster" and "beautifully unique sparklepony" are lifted from his original letter and its PG-rated revision, respectively. The jersey blend tees are also emblazoned with Kluwe's signature.

Proceeds from sales of the $20 shirts will go to Minnesotans For Equality and Kluwe's charity, Kick For Kids, which benefits muscular dystrophy.

If you’re thinking they might make a good last-minute lazy man’s Halloween costume — “Boo! I’m a scary cockmonster!” — order immediately, because they're already on a two-week back order.

Find the tees at