Down & Out at the Dinah: The happiest lez paradise on earth

Sweet balls! Do the gals at the Dinah know how to throw a good ol' fashion Spring Break orgy! Er, I mean, party.

Here at LezzieLand in the Palm Springs sun, the Bacardi is flowing, the bikinis are teeny and the loud music is perfect for lots of lady-lump humping on the dance floor. FYI: The dance floor is every square inch of outdoor property at the Club Skirts host hotel Hilton. These Dinah Shore girls came to party!

It started with drinks in the SheWired lounge, where lesbians rocked the karaoke mic to songs by the Dixie Chicks and, of course, Madonna’s “What it Feels Like for a Girl.” Two beers in and I was ready to treat the girls to my rendition of “Borderline,” but I was pulled away by the promise of sun and fun poolside.

The AfterEllen DJ was blaring dance-tastic stuff like Rihanna remixes and dirty rap songs to the crowd's delight. Everywhere you looked there were beautiful bodies! The lesbians bring their frickin' A-game to Palm Springs. Showtime's fictoinalized lezbabes have nothing on these chicks with their amaaaazing abs and hairstyles. Shane would be totally jealous. The swirly side/ribs tattoo is huge with this set, as is plaid, and as you would imagine, bikini tops and board shorts abound.

And in the grand tradition of giving the ladies what they want this weekend: the host party is even dog friendly! One of my trusty gay ladies brought her lil’ Chihuahua and she was beating off the femmes with a stick. Apparently nothing screams chick magnet like a cute dog. It seems every pretty girl here had left their lil’ dog at home in Virginia, Las Vegas, Texas (etc.) and they wanted to hold the furry rat. Looks like that's one thing us gay boys and our lezbo sisters have in common: We're all suckers for a cute pooch. Needless to say, her owner was happy to give a substitute hug as well.

Boys sighted: 1 (non-staff).

After 6-plus hours of drinking and dancing in the sun, I was wiped. I hit the showers for a Dinah power nap before getting on my finest white’s for the big White Diamonds party with an animalistic performance from Ke$ha … more on that soon.

There aren't many (any) other boys here, but for those of us who are, there's plenty of good sun, great music and a lot of friendly lezbos. Plus no line for the men's room -- if you can find it.

Photos: A. Krauss