Throwing the Perfect Beach Party

By: Joe Thompson

While perusing Out's Summer Entertaining Guide (presented by, we found an article called "10 Tips For a Perfect Beach Party." All the tips are helpful, but we quickly realized that they needed examples on how to gay it up.

For example:

1. Get people in the mood by choosing the right invitation. Buy postcards with a beach scene on front, with party info and RSVP number, then add sand, a deflated...
Blah, blah, blah. The invite we use has this guy on the front. That will get our friends to attend.

See how we spiced up some of the other tips...

Cocktail_011 2. Provide extra sunscreen, sunglasses, beach towels, and swimwear.
Good tip. But since you've got hot friends, make sure the swimwear is a speedo. Or at least something tight. Or a tight speedo. If they forget their bathing suit it's the chance they take.

3. Always have plenty of ice and coolers to keep your food and drinks fresh.
Very true. Also, mix up a batch of Vodka Sangria and pack it in the bottom, hidden under the ice. It's a refreshing boost to any party.

4. Bring a CD player and plenty of mix CDs...
Sure! If you're going to the beach in 1998. Since not all gays like a dance hit, how about bringing an iPod or MP3 player with different mixes to suit the different moods?

5. Present guests with party favors as they arrive... (WHAT?) Inflatable beach balls, sun visors, Frisbees, sunglasses... (Oh. Never mind.)

6. If you’re planning on creating a bonfire, obtain a permit if necessary. Also check to make sure alcoholic beverages are allowed at the event. Nothing ruins a beach party quite like a summons.
Truth! We also suggest not bringing beer cans or bottles or anything that remotely resembles an alcoholic beverage container. Especially if you're bringing that highly drinkable Vodka Sangria hidden under the ice.

7. Looking for activities? Beach volleyball, limbo, and sandcastle contests are always a hit. Hula hoops add extra drama and a much-needed dose of absurdity.
They forgot judging others. That's a game we do very well, it's a lot of fun, and creates memories that last forever. Good times.

Water-baloon-launcher 8. Bring water pistols and water balloons to keep guests squealing for hours on end.
And if you come anywhere near us with those things we will kick you right in the shin! Then we'll see who's squealing!

9. Pre-make a colorful fruit salad, and if you’re allowed to grill on the beach, cook up sausage or prepare some tasty shrimp.
(Does anyone else find that as funny as I do?)

10. People forget the importance of bringing blankets to the beach. It keeps the food clean in the day, and the guests warm after sunset.
And you know what happens when guests get warm under blankets, right?... They drink more of that luscious Vodka Sangria! (Sheesh! Get your mind out of the gutter!)

Visit the Summer Entertaining Guide for more fun tips!