VISIT: The Nob Hill Theatre The Real San Francisco Treat

Words by Travis Knight
Top image from Raging Stallion
Other photos by CraigSeymour.com

Thumpa-thumpa, grind grind. Judging by the music it sounds like the early ’90s, but with each rhythmic rotation of the colored lights my eyes gradually focus on a twinky dancer in the audience. He has one leg up on an armrest, muscles flexing as sweaty droplets speed down his torso toward a patron’s head—we’ll call the guy Mr. Teabag—and it’s 2:30 p.m. on a Monday. Meatballs for lunch, anyone?

Ah, the Nob Hill Theatre, that notorious, infamous, filthy strip club on steroids (just like many of its dancers). With its red carpets, gold walls, and wood-framed pictures of stars past and present, the space holds an old-school vaudeville feel. Here interactivity rules.

That’s right, you can look and touch.

Founded in 1968 as a private club (a legal protection for the sexy goings-on) and remodeled into art deco glory about four years ago, the Nob Hill remains a stalwart reminder of a pre-AIDS era of sexual liberation and excess, just off the cable car line from Union Square. Formerly a jazz club called The Hangover, this was a classy joint, not your typical flea-bitten, feet-stickin’ dive. One of the best-equipped venues for gay porn projection, in the days of celluloid the Nob Hill showed rough-and-tumble movies and auteur classics like Wakefield Poole’s Boys in the Sand and Bijou.

In his article “A Night at the Nob Hill Theatre” from the January 1980 premiere issue of Skinflicks magazine, noted author Jack Fritscher writes of the crowd: “Not just merchant seamen but men of all kinds, even the endangered species of good ol’ straight trade, frequent the lobby, the seats, the drinking fountain, and the ever-changing cast in the maze behind the screen.” The downstairs apartment, where former manager Cliff Newman lived, even made it into the January 1982 issue of Architectural Digest in all its over-the-top glory. “That sex hideaway was the basement height of ’70s palms and mirrors and wicker baskets and drugs and ‘talent,’” notes Fritscher. “And therein lies the center of stories as fascinating as anything Christopher Isherwood ever wrote about Sally Bowles in 1930s Berlin.”

No surprise, with DVDs and internet the Nob Hill Theatre is now a much quieter scene, a throwback to another era. But it’s a novelty that should not be underestimated, especially since film has been replaced by real men, masters of the coy performance and piercing stare that penetrates 10 rows deep. If go-gos are like Twinkies, tasty junk food for the eyes, then these dancers are a Baked Alaska, overwrought and slightly camp, a tad too rich but delicious to relish on a special occasion.

And at the Nob Hill Theatre, every day is a special occasion.

FUN FACTS:
•The entry fee is pricey—it cost us $30— but it's valid all day.
•Student and group discounts are available. No joke.
•Dancers perform in half-hour sets; the first song is a striptease.
•The theater’s hotline number (415-781-9468) is usually hilarious to hear.
•The Nob Hill is open Mon. – Thur., 11:30am – midnight; Fri. – Sun., 11:30am – 1:30 a.m.

The Nob Hill Adult Theatre
729 Bush Street
San Francisco, CA
415-397-6758
NobHillTheatre.com