WATCH: Rogue Man-Servant Dishes on Kissing Dudes in 'Downton Abbey'
Because you are a cultured asthete, you undoubtedly watch Downton Abbey. It's like Melrose Place, only set in Britain during the early 1900s.
And because you watch Downton Abbey (or DownTab as the cool gays call it), you are a fan of Thomas Barrow, the roguish gay footman who spent the entire first season harassing a crippled war veteran and the entire second season getting humiliated by bullets, swindlers and huffy servants.
We love Thomas not only for his pouty face and plexiglass hair, but also for hitting on DownTab's aristocratic guests — one guy totally made out with Thomas and then turned into an ice queen and the other guy sent Thomas all these gay vibes and then was all like, "Whoa! I'm not gay! Now help me fuck the eldest daughter so I can die of a heart attack and drive the entire plot of season two."
What. A. Scamp!
Rumor is that Thomas will finally get a bit of "man-on-man" action with another servant during season three of DownTab. So naturally we're delighted that Rob James-Collier recentlycame onto The View to discuss kissing dudes and being gay at the turn of the twentieth century.
Let us just say this: even though Mr. James-Collier is straight dad with a three-year-old son, he looks cute as hell in his robins egg sweater and khakis. And white shoes after Labor Day? Oooh... he is bad!
It's also good to see Thomas with some messy hair for once and who knew that the actor playing him had his wife's blessing to make out with as many dudes as the script requires? She's almost as progressive as Lord Grantham.
As for the view, it's nice that they mention that Thomas lives in a time when "buggery" and "sodomy" charges could get you jailed Oscar Wilde-style. It's still like that in some countries.
Being a gay servant in the early 1900s isn't all tea and crumpets, is it? But on the bright side, Thomas gets booty in season three, woo-hoo!
Expect a very demure "sex scene" showing maybe a kiss and little else. After all, this is dignified high brow programming where eligible young maidens hump Turkish diplomats to death.