Celebrate Freedom By Eating This 73,559 Calorie Meal

Forget your sissy barbecue with tofu dogs and free range burgers—Epic Meal Time has a revolutionary July 4th cookout recipe that'll celebrate your freedom to eat and maybe even kill you.

You like meat, right? Like... a lot?

In short, they cook a ground bison U.S. flag decorated with bacon stripes and mashed potato stars. Then they also cook a sandwich made of rabbit stuffed with deer and wrapped in bacon. Oh yes...

Plus they cook the entire thing on an open flame, cut it apart with daggers and swords and flip it over with tomahawks... just like the old colonial settlers used to do... or not.

They end up with a big, honkin' 73,559 calorie meal with 2021 grams of fat: that's like 36 days worth of calories and the nutritional equivalent of eating a premature baby made of bacon grease.

America... fuck yeah.