WATCH: 'Gay of Thrones', the Gayest 'Game of Thrones' Recap Ever

By: Brandon Voss

Not caught up on Game of Thrones? No worries, because a flamboyant hairdresser named Jonathan is recapping the new season's first two eps in Funny or Die's Gay of Thrones.

"They were serving straight-up Winterfell realness last night," Jonathan tells his client before cluelessly breaking down his favorite characters and moments, including that stoic slave's severed nipple, that chick with the dragons who looks like Christina Aguilera, and King Joffrey's flower sash — "I would’ve twerked that!" And you can bet he's got something to say about the late Renly's attraction to men.

Check out the hilarious Gay of Thrones below for many more "vague references and confusing plot analysis, which are not really spoilers."