Cereal Arsonist Teaches World Valuable Lessons About Free Speech, Fire Safety

By: Daniel Villarreal

Meet Michael Leisner. He's a 65-year-old campus preacher with a fondness for pink shirts, calling gay people "sodomites" and setting boxes of cereal aflame on YouTube.

Leisner became an internet laughingstock this week when he appeared in a YouTube video setting fire to a box of Honey Nut Cheerios in front of General Mills Minnesota headquarters. His reason? Their support of marriage equality.

After claiming that one in every eight boxes of cereal in America is Cheerios—"really the treat now for the homosexuals"—he takes a blowtorch to the honey-sweet goodness of whole grain and pours himself a bowl of fire before knocking over said bowl and ineffectively stamping out the flaming cereal as it begins to alight the grass below.

He then runs off with his giggling cronies.

After the video emerged, The Smoking Gun identified the clownish arsonist and located his YouTube page, Live4Chr1st—which has since gone offline due to "repeated or severe violations of… Community Guidelines," probably because of his other YouTube videos calling gay people "gay perverts" and "fierce faggots" among other degraded things.

They also located his workplace website, with Joe.My.God. wondering if Leisner will be fired for arson, seeing as pro-gay YouTuber Adam Smith got fired from his job just last week for posting a video of him berating a Chick-fil-A drive-thru employee over the chain's donations to anti-gay hate groups.

He has since been fired for his foolishness.

But we're at least the tiniest bit grateful for what Mr. Leisner has taught us—that a box of Honey Nut Cheerios set too close to a flame is just a firebomb waiting to happen.

Remember kids, fire safety could not only save your life, but also your job.